Saturday, December 30, 2006

just a song

Am still watching Charmed every single day...all the old episodes, just like song caught my attention, it is really a good one, though a bit sad... not that i am sad, just felt like posting it here, so i could be back to it whenever i want to ;))
- Lena

Artist - Bush
Song - Letting the Cables Sleep

You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Don't wanna lose the time
Lose the time to come

Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way

You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep

Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
We'll wrap the world around it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way
I'm a stranger in this town I'm a stranger in this town
If heaven is on the way I
f heaven is on the way
I'm a stranger in this town
I'm a stranger in this town


Happy New Year 2007

Let us all gather round and cheer,
With a drink of wine or an ice cold beer
Perhaps you're like me and don't drink the swill,
Or your like my grandparents who live on pills.
Maybe this world seems harsh at times,
Or its just that most of us just like to whine.
I'd say that this is a great place to be,
It all depends on how we can see.
True we've had bad things in the past,
But we know in our hearts that these will not last.
If we try our best to be simple and pure,
There's nothing our hopes and dreams cannot cure.
So, I don't know the value this is worth,
But lets all try to be happy and heal Mother Earth!
Happy New Year 2007!


all you need...

There are at this moment, 6,682,836,448 people in the world
Some are running scared
Some are coming home
Some tell lies to make it through the day
Others are just not facing the truth
Some are evil men at war with good

And some are good struggling with evil
6 billion people in the world
6 billion souls
And sometimes, all you need is one..

- from "One Tree Hill"


Friday, December 29, 2006

I am a miracle ;)

I am not perfect. :(( (am i sad about it? :O)
I live on the planet Earth where humans live. (any doubts? :P)
Humans aren't perfect. (hehehe...thats for sure ;))
Never have been.
Never will be.
So I don't always wear the right clothes. (i even dont try :P)
And I don't always use the right shoes. (cant understand why most girls are so crazy about shoes? :O)
My memory sometimes (read constantly) fails me.
I don't look like a fashion model. (hm...but i look good ;))
I don't cook like a French chef. (but i do it good :P)
I don't always do what people expect of me. (they expect too much ...;))
I am human. (sure...)
I am imperfect. (should i be upset about it? :P)
But there is no one else like me in this whole wide world. (read www :P)
I am unique. (no comments ...)
I am a miracle. (any doubts? ;))


year 2006

Dedicated to year 2006...

Its funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back everything’s different...

PS: and i like this difference :)



Life… What an amazing thing it is. Sometimes we get hurt by the ones closest to us. Friends, family, people we love most.. There will be troubling times when you wonder if it’s even worth it, and you’ll be praying to God to just get you through the day. But as usually everything turns out to be okay. And sometimes even better than you ever imagined possible. And somewhere in between it all, you realize what’s really important in life. :))

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

It’s not what you look like or what you have. But it’s the little things in life that make it all worth while.

Watching the sunset and the moon rise. Spending time doing crazy things with your friends. Random trips in the middle of the night. Enjoying the beautiful mountains. Drinking a nice cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day, or a hot cup of cocoa on a cold winter day. Catching a snowflake on your tongue. Dancing in the rain. Taking bubble baths. Singing as if no one could hear you. Staying up all night with your best friend. Laughing. Falling in love. Conquering your biggest fear. Watching the waves crash into the sand. Spending a day shopping in Paris.

Life doesnt always give second chances, take the first one. Live it to the fullest with no regrets from yesterday. Step out on a limb and don’t be afraid. Do that one thing that you’ve spent your whole life dreaming about. Now is the time, because you never know what will happen tomorrow. And remember, that no one is perfect, so forgive easily and love endlessly. Spend your time enjoying life, rather than expressing your anger towards someone. Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Life happens only once, and you should make the most of it. So take too many pictures, give lots of hugs, always smile because it may be the only sunshine someone else see's today, love with all your heart, never take anything in life for granted, and live with absolute passion for each and every day, because life is the most precious and wonderful gift you will ever receive...


life is amazing...i keep saying this ;))

Anya Peters was homeless and living in a car but she kept a blog...... it was picked up globally... read on .. and the blog is here..

Isnt it amazing how blogging can change one's life? ;)


Happy New Year

I havent written anything for a while..not because of the lack of time but because i didnt feel like writing... life is the same - whats there to write about ;))..i even missed the very important date - 1 year of me blogging ;) cant believe i actually am doing it for soooooooooo long ;)
anyways i am officially on holidays for 10 (!) days ;) isnt it great? hm... whom am i asking? nobody reads that but i really dont care, write it for myself... then will print out and publish a book :P.... may be even someone will read it..hahaha.... are there really people interested in this??? :O sure there are ;) and i will have success, get a lot of money, move to india and live long and happy ;)).... What a great prospective!!!! ;))

Anyways... New Year is coming and thats amazing.. so glad this year is over (correction: almost over :P) - though it was a good one... because i finally am happy and content with myself... all i want now is that people around me are as happy as i am... lets all of us enjoy the happiness and peace.. Life is an amazing thing, dont waste your precious time on being sad or is not worth it :)) I love life as it is and it is good to me in return..this year i got some really precious present... the love and i guess it is the most beautiful thing i ever had in my life :)) that makes you feel a lot different, makes you think different, makes you believe and makes your life an important one..because now it is complete.



Sunday, December 24, 2006

just about weekend ;))

saturday there was supposed to be a party, but my friend who had a bday got sick and the party was cancelled :(((((...hehehe..i am not sad at all..just now how many parties are there supposed to be on the holidays, since the whole country isnt working for 10 (!) days...;))
finally managed to call up all the uni friends for the party....we'll see how many of them will actually come ;)) - it is sooooooooooo difficult to make all of us come, everyone pretends to be very very busy... hehe...but as we all know hard work havent killed anybody lets hope most of them will be able to fill the party into their schedules ;)) havent seen some of people for ages.....let me think.... since spring i guess....GOD bless the person who invented cell phones to help us keep in touch :P.... but i guess if we hadnt had them we would meet more often ;)))

so what was i about? was cancelled so i spent saturday evening at home staying online and watching movies too...

habent decided yet if i should kill Christian on the one hand he sent this file to me and now i have to pay hell of money for internet bill (good he did it on the weekend, if it were at work they would sure fire me for only these 346 mb .... and they would be right thousand times ;)) ... hehehe...just like he used to say Ak-47 would sure solve this little problem ;)))....but on the other hand...i liked the show he sent...though it had some disgusting scenes (for those interested i am talking about this show now he just has to send me another episodes of it ...hehehe..i guess he just wont be able to get rid of me ;))) after all we are going to make business together :P - ok, enough with joking...i guess i cant kill such a great friend, no matter how much i want to .... besides i still need the other episodes, selfish, am i not? :P.....yeah...i am ;)))

well... i watched Dexter yesterday, wanted to update blog too, but somehow was not up to it
and read a bit too... The Outsider...havent got yet what kind of book it is, besides since i also started Richard Bach's "The bridge across forever"..dont know which one should be done first.. anyways, not a problem at all...

woke up pretty eary because of these stupid kittens.... why do they always want to eat soooooooo early in the morning???? i know why - because they dont want me to sleep :P haha.. anyways since i was up to shopping i had no choice but stand up ;))

shopping.... for gifts... for family..always a problem, never know what to buy them ;)) - it took me many many hours to figure it out :P but i succeeded ;)))

hm... watched some Charmed as well - just loooooooooooooove them so much ;)))

what else... almost nobody is online since it is Christmas for almost the whole world, and with those ones who are online i dont want to talk now...i guess will watch more of Charmed now ;)))

may be will be back later here.... :)))


Thursday, December 21, 2006

I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met

my favourite movie is "My best friend's wedding"... not because of Julia Roberts though .. more because of Rupert Everett and Dermot Mulroney... and even not because of them but because of the characters they play.... the same performance (the character) one can see in "The next best thing" with Everett and "The Wedding date" with Mulroney.... the movie i watched tonight for uptenth time ;)) Mulroney is just irresistible - the one every woman would like to have, someone you can always rely on, someone always there for you, someone you can count on...the best which may happen to you, someone who understands you better than you understand yourself... the one you are too afraid to lose... the one you just cant let go...i thought..something like that is impossible in real life, after all it is just a movie, a beautiful fairy tale for the ones who want to believe... but like someone said nothing is impossible in this life..."I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." - you just miss someone like that until they show up into your life.... or they dont.. :))


Wednesday, December 20, 2006

counting days

well... today we have the 20th of december, 11 days till the year 2007... dont know if it is good or bad.. dont want to celebrate.. all i need is sleeeeeeeeep.. as much as possible... today i started toc ount days till the holidays... hmm... should i count today? it just started but still ... dont want to count it... so let me do this... thursday, friday.... weekend doesnt count - no work (i hope ;)).. then monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday.... let me think - 7 DAYS... yahooooooooooo... only seven (!) days till holidays... and then 10 days of doing nothing, just am looking forward to it, need my rest.. i dont like myself the way i am now... am really overexhausted and stressed.. the only thing that makes me happy is thinking about how much i love you (read: you love me :P), love ;))... that really still keeps me alive... all i want now is rest, sleep, and being left in peace by most people... not by all though..
it is finally snowing, who could think that we wont have any snow till the 20th of december :O - thats amazing how the winter this year didnt want to start... but the first day it is below zero temperature and i got cold... seems like i have caught a flu or something :(( - have fever right now, took lots of meds and am doing no work again... i guess with this attitude i sure deserve some punishment :)) - and here it goes - NOBODY, i repeat NOBODY is online, everyone is doing their job and cant find time for a poor sick Lena :((( - life is sooooooooooooooo unfair ... well like abhay says there are lots of other things to do except chatting while you are doing nothing at work.. pity he forgot to tell me what these things are :P... ok, then i will have to find it out by myself...may be i even will succeed.. after all i am supposed never again to fail ;))

hmm... again i am writing a long entry, i really should stop it, after all nobody is reading all this crap... well not really nobody.. abhay does read it ;)... sometimes.... and even leaves comments... love, you should visit my blog a bit more often... make it a job for you .. like every friday night from 2 am till 2.30 am you are reading my blog :P - try to put it up into your schedule, ok? ;))

what else to say??? actually my mind isnt working properly :(( may be because of fever or because of too much chocolate i ate today... hmmm... can it be too much chocolate???? nooooooo... just impossible... though since it is on the forbidden list and i ate a lot today no wonder i am feeling unwell... anyways only my fault.. i should have said "NO" to chocolate :((( but i didnt , soooooooooooooo bad of me...

dont you have a feeling you are talking to yourself, Lena? i do.... i guess it is the sign that i should stop this here.. or i am going to be even more crazy that i already am :((... sorry wrong smiley :))) ... pity they are not colourful... strange that doesnt have these colourful smileys ;))

once again ... only 7 working days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))))


Sunday, December 17, 2006

some more from collection

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel it can only be explained by replying: "Because it was he; because it was me."

Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.

How lucky am I to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to

I never know what the future brings But I know you are here with me now We’ll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with

Can’t find a reason why God gave you to me. But that’s not a question to be asked. May be question is how did God knew that I needed someone like you...

I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh, cry and make memories with...

You know its love when he sees you, not what everyone else sees. When he can say you are beautiful even on your worst day

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Love is falling asleep dreaming of the one that makes you smile. Love is waking up smiling about the one you dream of.

"Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free....
Will never fly away."


the end of internet


12 best things to say if you're caught sleeping at your desk

"I'm in the management training program. I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) that I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

"I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands."

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time"

"I wasn't sleeping. I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

"I was doing a highly specific yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminating against people who practice yoga?"

"Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our company's biggest problem."

"The coffee machine is broken..."

"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

"... And, finally, I pray for the future of our company. Amen."

-- from a forward mail


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

just an update

havent written anything for a while.. have crazy time at work... on friday everything will end and i will be happy to have a normal weekend without thinking what kind of stress the new day may bring.. they all at work think i am able to manage the amount of work which is too much even for 2 persons... i had quite an emotional outburst yesterday and they realized that if they dont stop acting that way they may lose me :((( hehe.. just being dramatic... anyways they reduced my work and now it is only the work that 2 people should do but there is still only me and nobody else... anyways it is better than before and i am thankful to that..
feel happy today, actually i feel happy always now... main khush hoon - hehehe.. i am learning hindi now, such a cool language without any logic... or at least i havent seen any logic yet :P but i like it ;))
I gave myself a word that i will go to bed at 10 pm tonight and it is 10:18 pm already.... thats bad ;) - so i better start keeping my word and go to bed :)

meethe sapne, world :)) - good night!!!


Saturday, December 09, 2006

the song of the day

Reamonn - Strong

- gosh... i just love these guys.. their music is really amazing.. havent had so much passion for a band for ages.. but these guys just made it..just cant stop listening to their songs ;))

I See The Fear In The Things We Don't Understand
I See The Fear In Another Blind Man
I Can't Hold Back This Fight That Stills Inside
I Can't Hold Back Who I Am

I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You Are Strong
My Beautiful One
I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You Are Strong
My Beautiful One

I Can't Turn Away From What I Believe
I Can't Destroy Or Deceive Oh No Oh No
I Know A Beauty In All That I Can See
I Can't Hold On But You Can't Release

I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You Are Strong
My Beautiful One
I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You Are Strong
My Beautiful One

Cause They Can't Hold You
And They Can't Hold Me
And They Can't Hold On
To What They Can't Believe
And They Can't Hold You
And They Can't Hold Me
And They won't understand'till a blindman see

I Know You're Strong
My Beautiful One
I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You're Strong
My Beautiful One
I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You're Strong
My Beautiful One


Just some missing quotes ..

For someone i miss so much -

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age.
As contraries are known by contraries, so is the delight of presence best known by the torments of absence.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
"Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you."
"I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you."
"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."
"When I miss you, I don't have to go far ... I just have to look inside my heart because that's where I'll find you."
"I don't want you to know, so I try to be strong. I don't want you to think that without you, I can't go on. But that's how it is, and that's how it will be, because I love you, I need you, I miss you, and without you, there's just no me."


Friday, December 08, 2006


tired tired ttired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired :(((


Sunday, December 03, 2006

some random thoughts

Had a good and relaxing weekend... watched movies (good ones ), watched sport (finally, missed this a lot), updated webpage (hmmm.. it was needed for sure), slept, slept again (hahah.. thats not bad :P), talked online, more talks online (some of them were actually fun ;)), more sleep... havent eaten anything (thats bad :(( ),... played with alexandra, did i go out?.. dont remember... cant believe i wasnt outdoors... or was i.. at least not today ;) - not really good, but who cares; read (only a bit, but still)... Nobody called... thats bad... No sms.. even worse..:(( seems people are forgetting i exist... do i have to remind them? do i? dont know... may be give them the second chance?.. ops forgot... no second chances anymore, am trying not to be too nice :P...installed a new antivirus programm.. still have no idea which one is better.. so pity the registration key to my old now isnt valid anymore :((... here we go - back to Norton, not that i have anyting against Norton... but i think my Windows has...Or at least my Norton thinks that my Windowns is a virus...2 ways out - to get rid of Windows or to get rid of Norton... too bad i cant get rid of Windows... such a pity ;(... i guess i have to get rid of Norton, too bad i only updated it today... may be a second chance??? dont know... yeah.. remember about "no-second-chances-policy" but Norton isnt a person it is a program, cant hurt me, can hurt only Windows and the Windows can be always reinstalled...GOSH.. how come that from the weekend i came to such a topic as Computers??? ... back to weekend.. installed, updated, run.. no viruses (viri?) - thats good...what else? still cant remember if i eat anything? pity :( am not hungry though - strange... happy - will get tomorrow the 6 seasons of Charmed... sad - 2 more seasons are to be bought... more sad - have to pay for this 6 seasons tomorrow. ..Do i have money? have no idea now.. i should, but do i?.. no, i'm afraid not much money left, wont have any after i pay for 'Charmed'.. sad... but i will have 'Charmed'... that will cover the sadness...wanted to write an entry in one sentence.. just couldnt stop.. too much on my mind now :(( life is sooooooooooooo nervous these days, too much overloads, am not sure if i handle it, sometimes just want to scream out - 'leave me all in peace, i need my vacation' nobody hears... may be because i dont scream? :P.... cant remember the last year being so much stressful.. am tired to say everyone i am fine... well.. I AM FINE in a way but not that fine as i want to... but i got used to put up with whatever i have at the moment... and i dont complain because whatever i have it is great.. paradox - how one person may feel so contrary feelings at one and the same time.. seems i am a very paradoxal (my new invention - "paradoxal", patented 03.12.2006, 11:42 pm) one.. :P - All i want to say - i am happy now.. in stress, overloaded with work, tired, with sleep problems (Abhay, remember, you promised to guard - i rely on you ;)), with no money (gosh, so bad..but what do i need it for when i dont have time for shopping), with no time (i remember having said it already ;)) but i am happy... think positive, remember... no worries.. life is a good thing after all.. especially when you are so much in love as i am now :))
time to go to bed, midnight... 6 hours to sleep if i am lucky... hope i am.. i just dont have any choice but to be lucky ;)
Have a good night, world!!


Friday, December 01, 2006

A joke of the day

Thanks to a friend for sharing :)

A man comes running to the doctor shouting & screaming
In pain "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."
MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles
Away by now."

DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream
On the place you were stung."

MAN: "Oh! It happened in the garden where I was
Sitting under a tree"

DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which
Part of your body did that bee sting."

MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee
Stung me on my finger and it really hurts"
DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting):
"Which one?"
MAN (innocently ): "How am I to know? All bees look the
Same to me."


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

15 best photos of National Geographic

I simply love National Geographic - really a great thing :)


Monday, November 27, 2006


it is just so that every girl loves chocolate.. i do .. still it is kind on a forbidden list for me but i used to break the rules every now and then... even taking into account that it may hurt me i still do eat chocolate sometimes ;))

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate"

“Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.”

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”


just a thought...

“When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.”


Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Departed

That was a great movie. Havent watched such one for months, may be even for years. Scorsese is the best, the movie is just a masterpiece. Though it is really long, i havent noticed the time, it just flied away..
Ok, now a bit about the impressions..

So you get one of the best directors in the world, a cast of outstanding talent, a brilliant script and you end up with the departed the best film of the year so far. There is so much that is good about this film, it is exceptionally well told, keeping you hooked from the word go, the music is great the cinematography outstanding. You move from scene to scene in a state of anticipation and excitement, not quite knowing what is going to happen next. The acting, well the Oscars need to extend the number of nominees in the categories of best actor and supporting actor because all involved in this picture deserve to be up for a gong.

Leonardo DiCaprio - i dont like him, really, not a fan, but sure he IS a great actor. He really held his own against an acting powerhouse like Jack Nicholson (who was, of course, great as usual - here the real talent goes). If ever there was a character you sympathised with from the very beginning, it was this guy. And DiCaprio's performance really helped build that feeling.

Matt Damon .. i just love him... love him from "Dogma" when he did a great job of a fallen angel together with Ben Affleck - that was fun ;) Solid performances every time. No exceptions for this one :) It was nice to see him play a character like this. He was believable, it worked.

Martin Sheen was, well... Martin Sheen. No comments ;)

Alec Baldwin was hilarious. I guess nobody will doubt it ;)

So the movie was just great with outstanding performances, great story and it is sure the best film of the year :))

And i will repeat it again... Martin Scorsese is the best, if not for him i am not sure the movie would be as great as it really is :)

Sorry for such a stupid review, just i guess i left all my talent writing the previous entry :p
Besides i am still having too many impressions of this film, just cant describe everything the way i would like to :)



here is me again...weekend is here.. actually it is better to say weekend was there :P because my weekend is almost gone already....sooooooooooooo happy that i am finally home... not that the weekend was bad.........not at all :P it was a great one, really enjoyed this one soooooooooo much :)))
First, i didnt make any plans for it... because everytime i do make plans..everything goes wrong :P And so, this time i decided - why plan, will do everything spontaneously... i have this great ability of doing all the wonderful things spontaneously and then en voilà une surprise! and everything goes successfully.. it is wonder how most of successful things in my life have been done not on plan but really was only my spontaneity (is there such a word in english :O - abhay, where are you? please help me out... did i invent a new word? or did someone invent it before me? :P) ... so what was i talking about... again lost the point ... oh, yeahh... here it is - "spontaneity", that was a key word :P Only because of it i ended up studying at my University, only because of it i came to germany - it took me about 15 mins to make such a decision and about 1 day to prepare all the necessary papers, in a month... voila - i've got this invitation letter, even didnt have time to think about it... and only because of this spontaneity thing i never stopped to amaze my university friends because i was the only one who almost never prepared any essays or compositions or retellings, papers etc I just somehow managed all these things ... you know... just spontaneous :P
anyways i started talking about my weekend... i didnt have any plans and didnt want to do anything as well, but...........there is always a but, isnt it but i woke up with a feeling that i need a party... and that i need it right now........... of course there are no parties in the morning. What a pity, really! Someone should have organized a party in the morning, it would be fun... everyone so sleepy, hungry and looking quite terrible ..., no offence, people :P - it is at least how i am in the early morning :P - no, really there are really few people on this planet who look great when they wake up, i am not the one of them.... not that i complain... no i do not complain, because other who knows how many billions of people are just like me - look terrible, are sleepy and hungry :P
dont you think that this entry is becoming too long... well since i do have adsl connection i dont really care how much time i can have when using internet and am using this my ability of talking to people online while writing this entry, so no wonder i lose a point every now and then.. i do it even when i better concentrate, but now i am not concentrated on this entry at all.. :P so whoever will read it pleassssssssse, dont complain, i know i could do a better job, and i will ... next time... promise ;))
so when i woke up on saturday i wanted a party, but since there were no crazy people like me who wanted party at that time of the day.. am i a crazy one? probably... but who cares, i hope nobody minds ;)) ok, where am i right now.... WHAT? Still SATURDAY MORNING? i am really slow today, sorry :P well... not really sorry... actually i have lots of fun writing this entry ;)) - it is a good one.
Well ..back to the weekend... do you still remember i am talking about MY WEEKEND? What?! NO?! OMG... my fault i guess :P ok, dears here we go ... weekend, my weekend started with shopping, i just literally made one of my friends go with me... you know i can be a very dangerous girl sometimes ... :D "really?" will you ask.........."of course, not" will i reply, who are you taking me for... i am the nicest one on this planet :P just i have this power of being able to persuade people to do what is the best for them (and for me) right now.. and the best for my friend was really going out - so we went shopping, then were stuck in McDonalds for couple of hours... i know, i know... junk food etc.. but really who cares... :P
All that time i still remembered that i want a party, that i need a party... and O, Lord - I was saved...;) i remembered that i WAS invited to a party this day (better to say this night), i really didnt intend to go there before but now i wanted it, so it was only logical, that i called my friends and told them that i will come to their party. The party was in a night club and it was for the whole night. So after McDonalds i went hope to relax a bit and to talk to some people online whom i promised to talk to on the weekend :)) I was really surprised that in addition to them i was able to talk to you, Abhay, too - it was really a nice surprise (btw.. hope your weekend was at least as good as my was, love ;)) After that i went to a party - that was great, really a cool party with everything in it - good drinks, good food, good people, good music... As for dancing... regarding the possible questions... NO, i did NOT do dirty dancing, but it actually came to dancing on the tables, was really fun.. I came home at 7 am, then slept for 4 hours and woke up at 11, checked mails, nothing really interesting, well.. then i decided to do something spontaneous again... you see i was in my spontaneous mood :P and i just went to a movie, practically dragged in my friends with me. They werent very happy about it, but couldnt resist me, because if they had i would just have killed them ;) - you see, the cruel and dangerous Lena comes here again :P But after all they thanked me because the movie was just GREAT - havent watched such one in a while (review in the next entry :))
Now i am home chatting with people and it seems nice to be home after all this going out... finally something not that spontaneous (still have no idea if there is such a word in english :P)

ok, enough about it, bye for now, but not for long, am going to review the movie right now :)))


Friday, November 17, 2006

sharing a memory

When i was about 13-14 years old - it was the most popular band in Russia - Ace of Base.
Everyone knew their songs, no matter if they spoke english or didnt... i didnt... neither of my friends did.. we just listened to it and believed there were good songs...they werent bad, really..:)) just looking back now i understand we just didnt have much of western culture at that time - madonna, michael jackson, britney spears - they all came a bit later.. at that time we teenagers adored Ace of Base..

i have lots of memories about their songs but the most wonderful i have about this song "Happy Nation" - the only words we understood there were the words from the title - we never knew the meaning of the song, just liked it a lot. I cant remember anything in particular, just know that this song was always with me during my teenage years... and when yesterday 10 years later i heard this song on the radio - i smiled because it brought me back to the years when i was a careless teenage girl, when i knew that my future was going to be the best, when i knew that everything will be just wonderful no matter what...

I still do believe that everything will be fine in the end, otherwise it all has just no sense... thats why no matter what i smile and go my way.. I am glad i heard that song on the radio because it brought back to me the memories i that i thought were long lost and forgotten :))

Here the song goes:

Laudate omnes gentes laudate
Magnificat en secula
Et anima mea laudate
Magnificat en secuala

Happy nation living in a happy nation
Where people understand
And dream of the perfect man
A situation leading to sweet salvation
For the people for the good
For mankind brotherhood

We're traveling in time

Ideas by man and only that will last
And over time we've turned to the past
That no man's fit to rule the world alone
A man will die but not his ideas

Happy nation…

We're traveling in time
Traveling in time

Tell them we've gone too far
Tell them we've gone too far
Happy nation come through
And I will dance with you
Happy nation

Happy nation…


me today

i guess i caught cold... the weather here is quite winterly - is there such a word in english??? (i guess even if i sometimes do invent new english words, my english did improve for this year :))
ok, back to me... yesterday after lesson i got at home at about 9:15 pm and felt just miserable - all i wanted was to get to bed but somehow i was roaming senselessly around the flat without doing anything positive... i even cant remember what i did.. i read some emails.. but was too exhausted to write any replies.. i checked out the new modem my mom bought yesterday, hope i will be able to change up to adsl connection in the beginning of the next week... i am absolutely sick of this dial-up at home, yesterday the connection failed 3 times for 15 mins, it is pretty annoying...
after i did nothing.. i went to bed at around midnignt and fell asleep almost immediately, had a good sleep, though cant remember any dreams.. at least i didnt have bad ones :))
in the morning i woke up with a feeling i am sick... and yes.. i am really sick... i'm lucky that i dont have fever..
had to cancel a lesson today.. my mom told me that if i dont do this she will kill me personally... i decided "why take any chances" - dont want to die now :P
life is good so far, i am happy in love and enjoy life..
wanted to visit friends on the weekend.. but since i am sick and thay have a little child i guess it is wont do any good to go there. seems i will be again stuck at home on the weekend... i hate it, as soon as the weekend arrives i fell ill, it is like my body doesnt want me to enjoy the weekend much... at least i have books to read and movies to watch..finally gor "Shakespeare in love" on dvd .. you may be able to find in Russia on dvd the newest movies, the ones that werent even shown in the cinemas yet, but it is almost impossible to get the old ones.. i got the dvd with 10 movies with Gwyneth Paltrow - "Shakespeare in love" is sure the best but there is also"Sliding doors" which i like so much and some others too.. so i guess i will make the weekend of Gwyneth Paltrow :)))
Am sitting in the office and doing nothing.. just too lazy :P and besides my boss isnt there.. i guess things with me getting the new position are almost settled though i still have doubts, wont believe this until everything is official :))
Today there is a day of my favourite song.. "Girl" by F.R. David - it is being played endless on my computer today, just cant get enough of it :))
i guess thats enough for now, want to write something else but it will be another entry :)))


Thursday, November 16, 2006

good feelings

- found on the net, corrected by me :)

-Walking in the rain
-Bubble baths
-Favorite songs
-Best friends
-Smiles that happen for no reason (i really do a lot recently :))
-Smiles that happen for every reason
-Butterfly kisses
-Hot tea when it's snowing
-Pillow forts
-Never being too old
-Favorite restraunts
-Favorite movies
-Laughing until your sides ache
-Weekends that you can't ever forget
-Instant Messages from that Special Someone-Saying "I love you."
-Meaning it
-Hearing "I love you."
-Knowing they mean it
-Movie dates
-Girls night out
-Making snow angels
-Sneaking out at 3Am
-Dancing with your best friends to music you would never admit (to anyone but them) you secretly love
-Sitting in a coffee shop reading a favorite book

-Being in love


Letters to God

-found in the Net, written by children :)

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?

Dear God,
Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear God,
Went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?

Dear God,
Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.

Dear God,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him in anyway.
Your Friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear God,
Please send me a pony.
I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.

Dear God,
I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.

Dear God,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.

Dear God,
I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying.

Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.

Dear God,
Of all the people who worked for you,
I like Noah and David the best.

Dear God,
My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They are just kidding, aren't they?
Dear God,
If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.

Dear God,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.

Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.

Dear God,I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!

Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.


a joke of the day

A man in an office found a magic lamp.
He took it to his boss, who was meeting with his financial advisor.
The man showed it to his boss and handed it over.
"Bit grubby" his boss said, rubbing it vigorously. Out popped a genie!
"I will grant each one of you in this room 1 wish!" Boomed out the genie!
Immediatly piping up the finacial advisor said, " I wish I was on a far away beach lying in the sun and drinking cocktails."
"Done!" said the genie, and the financial advisor disappeared.
Next the man who had found the lamp shouted out, " I wish I was in the Alps snowboarding and surrounded by beautiful women."
"Done" said the genie, and he disappeared.
"So what do you want?" - The boss looked thoughful for a moment and then said, "I want those two back here by lunch-time!"

Moral of the story- Always let your boss have the first say!


Saturday, November 11, 2006


Winter has come to us, it has been snowing for the whole night and there is lots of snow outside :) In the morning i shot some pics just in order to keep in memory these beautiful days of November 2006.


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

i guess ... i really do have to stop :P because another entry of mine disappeared... i guess thats a sign :P so i better stop and will just listen to music, not write about it ;)))


Every little thing she does is magic

i just wonder if i am able to stop today.. :P

Artist - Police
Song - Every little thing she does is magic

Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve
As I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day
And ask her if she'll marry me in some old fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reach the phone
Long before my tongue has tripped me
Must I always be alone?

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

[Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Every little thingEvery little thing
Every little thing
Every little thing
Every little
Every little
Every little
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Thing she does is magic Eee oh oh...]
Every little thing
Every little thing
Every little thing she does is magic magic magic
Magic magic magic


just the way you are

before i continue.. i just want to make clear that i dont relate to any of songs, i just like them because they are really good ones :))

Artist - Billy Joel
Song - Just The Way You Are

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.



i already wrote this entry but somehow it all went lost :(
i wont repeat much of it though, dont feel like typing :P
Today i am in my music mood and since it doesnt happen often the next few entries will all be about music :)) - something like the songs of the day, i just cant choose only one for today... I even wanted to post the lyrics of Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" and Bryan Adams' "All I do I do it for you" or even Reamon's "Tonight" but then i realized i have posted them already in my other blog, dont want to copy myself :P

ok.. lets start... the first one for today...
Artist - Chicago
Song - Hard to Say I'm Sorry

Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, from each other.
Even lovers need a holiday far away from each other.
Hold me now. its hard for me to say Im sorry. I just want you to stay.

After all that weve been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all thats been said and done,
Youre just the part of me I cant let go.

Couldnt stand to be kept away just for the day from your body.
Wouldnt wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love.
Hold me now. its hard for me to say Im sorry. I just want you to know.
Hold me now. I really want to tell you Im sorry. I could never let you go.

After all that weve been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all thats been said and done,
Youre just the part of me I cant let go.

After all that weve been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.

Youre gonna be the lucky one.



I had a very lazy day at work yesterday :) My boss is away for a week, so not really much work to do :))) - i guess i need some rest after having such crazy weeks recently.
After work i went to the cinema. It was different this time compared to the last visit when all we did with my friend during the movie was just making fun of each other.
We have a Festival of New Britain Movies here ... so me and one of my co-workers went to see a movie yesterday. It was a good one. It wasnt one i would have chosen on my own though. I mean it is not a movie you are eager to watch right after you have heard about it or read about it. Not a blockbaster... just a very sad, sometimes very funny movie... set back into 1969-1971... a very kind story of people who happened to live far away from their native country, who had to go through family dramas, divorces, losing their loved ones... a story about a boy who had to choose between the mother who left him and his stepmother... a story about a man who never stopped loving his wife who betrayed him with his best friend... even when he happened to remarry and who has got a wonderful wife after all...a story of a real life with real people, no supermen there, no magic other but magic of people's feelings...i havent written a review of a movie for a while, mainly because i havent watched any decent filmes for ages... so i guess i am a bit out of practice and this review is a bit chaotic.... but nevermind :))
what i loved most of all about this movie is that it is honest, something we often miss so much not only in the films but also in the real life.. and it is a very warm story, really touching, the one that can make you cry.. i really loved the movie as you can see from this chaos of my thoughts, usually i am a bit silly but always think very logical and clearly....
ok... *starting thinking clearly* - here is the official webpage of the movie :))


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The quote of the day :)

"Its not how things are; its about how you look-up to them.....and that depends entirely upon you. "


Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the last one for today

I was just curious and have gone through the test... i really wondered that everything on it is true :0 - thats why i post it here

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.


I just liked it because in some way it is about me too :)

I still believe pigs can fly.
I don't have to see to believe;
They only fly when I'm not looking.



Love Dont Ask " Who Are You?"
Love Only Says " You Are Mine !"
Love Dont Ask " Where Are You From?"
Love Only Says " You Lives In My Heart !"
Love Dont Ask " what Do You Do?"
Love Only Says " You Make My Heart To Beat !"
Love Dont Ask " Why Are You Faraway?"
Love Only Says " You Are Always With Me !"
Love Dont Ask " Do You Love Me?"
Love Only Says " I Love You ! "
I asked God for happiness,and I found you.
I asked God for help,and he guided me to your door.
I asked God for reassurance,and I felt a wonderful sense of peacewhen I heard your voice.
I asked God for an escape from the darkness,and I saw the light in your eyes.
I asked God for someone to love,and you put your hand in mine.
I asked God for life,and I felt a spark sizzle through my veinswhen I kissed you.
I asked God for wealth,and I became rich in the splendor of your love.
I asked God for comfort,and you wrapped me up in your warmth.
I asked God for success,and I found the strength to accomplishanything when I'm with you.
I Thanked God for you,and every day I praythat you're in my life to stay

- these are quotes, they are not mine :)


first snow

We have first snow here :)
I just love the days with first snow, it is like a new world is born. Yesterday it was just snowing and today in the morning i found lots of snow everywhere. Of course it is not for long. But everytime i look at it i smile and feel great.. well there is sure another reason whay i feel great :P But snow... it is really beautiful outside today. i would like to share this feeling with everyone :))



I havent written anything for a while. I had some pretty busy weeks. Since i am working in the company for over a year now, they think i am ready to take over new duties... for the same money, of course... it is what the business is like in Russia. They get a young girl without any experience, pay her little money and then day by day she gets new duties and responsibilities but she never gets a salary raise even though her experience with work is bigger, more professional. I do like my job but sometimes i just hate when i have to do new things without being paid for it...
Ok, enough complaints, i promised not to be sad anymore and am going to keep my promise :)
Life is good. I am just back from my business trip to Moscow. I presented there my company on a very big exhibition devoted to 15 years of CIS. I had good time there, got a chance to visit my friends and had some peaceful timeevery evening without too many people i have at home. I do love my family but sometimes i just want to live alone :)
Ok, what else should i tell you. I had a nice weekend, went to a party on Sunday, met some old friends and new people, had a lot of fun there :))
Life is good so far and i am feeling really happy now.
Have a good day, everyone and take care :)


Sunday, October 22, 2006


Autumn is here and almost gone. yesterday night it was snowing but it it still too warm to let the snow stay until the morning .. it is about +3C every morning and gets a bit warmer throughout the day till +7-8C. It is a real october here, quite beautiful out there and i really pity that we dont have much time to enjoy it because i know that this period wont last for long.. winter is close .. and just to make this beautiful time period stay for a little bit i want to post some beautiful autumn pics here :)


Saturday, October 21, 2006

To every guy that walks on the outside of a sidewalk

To every guy that cooks dinner for her.
To every guy that regrets hurting her.
To every guy who knows which girl he wants.
To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.
To every guy that actually listened.
To every guy that gave his heart and his mind
To every guy that would have given everything he was
To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.
To every guy that prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

This one is for you...

Just found it in the net and wondered (!) ... are there any nice guys left? or i've got the last one? :P



Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint.Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look confidently at the world. We turn inward and begin to feed upon our own personalities, and little by little we destroy it ourselves. With it we are creative. With it we march tirelessly. With it and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.
- Chief Dan George -

I cant say i havent known this long before but i have never heard someone put the meaning of love into the best words. Love makes us strong and weak at the same time. Strong because we know that we are not alone and that we have someone truly special to support us all the time. Weak because from now on you are at the risk to trust your feelings, your love, your life to another person. And sometimes we fail because we trust ourselves to the wrong person...But still when you were lucky and successful to find a right person love makes you a better person :)

- Lena -


Friday, October 20, 2006

some random thoughts

i havent written anything for a while, not that i was very busy, just a bit not up to blogging :P
life is going good, though sometimes, i'm still having sleeping problems. Hope it will not last forever :P My mom says that it is because i am growing old - cant believe i am really old already to have sleeping problems ;)
i still think it was a good idea to start with teaching again - it brings lots of positive emotions, but sure not on fridays evenings.... when there are lots of traffic jams on my way home. i even cant think of what will expect me tonight when i will go home after the lesson... last week it took me about 2 hours instead of 30 minutes.. public transport is becoming awful here these days. you have to wait for ages for your bus, then you should be pretty powerful to get inside because you are not the only one who wants to go home after work :P and then you are stuck there for hours..
i had a good dream last night, it was soooo good that i didnt wantto wake up.. pity i cant remember what it was about.. i usually forget my good dreams the moment i open my eyes :P - so i cant say i have many memories of my dreams :(
but i do know that some of them are good, very good because i wake up in a fantastic mood and the world seems to be great on such days :)


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A joke of the day

Why Men Can't Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.


The song of the day

Just a good one :)

Artist: Pretenders
Song: I'll stand by you

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.


Monday, October 16, 2006

just want all the people to have a really nice day :)


just some words...

... every woman would like to hear at least once ...

i may seldom tell u how special u are, i may not be able to reach u coz we're both busy, but inspite of all, u know u are someone i really miss and care about

I love you even more than when I started this sentence.

They learned me that one hours equals 60 minutes and that one minute equals 60 seconds, but they never told me that one second without you can last for ever!

Last night I sent an angel 2 watch over u while u were sleeping but it came back early! So I asked it why? It said that angels don't watch over other angels!

If i could give u 1 thing in life, i would give u the ability 2 c yourself through my eyes, only then would u realise how special u r 2 me!

It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't really rain, the sky was crying because it lost its most beautifull angel...!

Let these words not only touch your eyes, let them travel through your soul, and let them rest in your heart as you rest in mine…I love you.

Each time I miss you a star falls from the sky, So if you look up at the night sky and find it dark with no stars, its all your fault, you made me miss you too much.

- from a forward mail


Friday, October 13, 2006

i'm soooooo glad ...

.... that this week is over :)
it is was an extremely stressful one.. i cant remember such a busy week for ages. may be also because i have never had to do so many tasks simultaneously. Since last week my boss decided i am ready for new duties and now i've got an entire project for myself.... only that the project is quite big - it has to do with All Russia Exhibiton Conference next week in Moscow and i have to control the participation of our association's members which are about 90 organization from all Russia. i have had so many calls this week that not i hate phones and cant make myself call the friends just because i would have preferred not to talk at all. Silence!!! it is what i need right now :)
i havent got much of alexandra this week. I've seen her only two times both for 20-30 minutes... really weird since we live in the same apartment.. i really miss her a lot... wonder what will i feel when i get my own children :)
and 3 evenings of 5 this week i went giving lessons. i'm glad because i really have god good students this time: a girl and a boy of 13-14 years old who really do what i ask them to do and who try to think and not only listen stupidly to me without getting what i want them to know.. i like the both of them :)
but i'm afraid it is too exhausting for me... i leave my home at 8 in the morning and come back at 9 in the evening - seems as if i get 13 hours every day except wednesday and sometimes tuesday... i wonder if i overestimated my possibilities... tonight i was soooooooo tired and had terrible headache and migraine... i even dont have time to eat properly which i still can not let myself do because after the surgery it still ends up in pains when i miss my meal or eat something from the forbidden list :(
ok, lets hope i will cope with all amount of work and will be able to deal with the pains too..
now i will go to bed and do what i really want and need now - sleep :)


finally done with this week

so happy this week is almost over.. it was way too busy here for the last 5 days - sometimes i even couldnt get a cup of tea.. and you can believe that i am really nothing without my cup of tea ;) i usually start being very annoying and dont know how people at all can stand me ...
today i will have to give the last lesson on this week.. good, because even when i like giving lessons it is really too exhausting to do this after a stressful day.
last night i had not only a decent sleep but also a very good one. first time for the last few weeks i had such a good sleep, without any interruptions, without waking up several times through the night, without having bad dreams - just a normal sleep... sounds really fantastic :)
i am still busy so will better turn back to work... may be will add something later :)


Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Russia - Estonia
Wow ... Russia still can win... though it is Estonia
(i dont want to hurt anyone but you sure do understand..)


some news

i am finally content with myself: i had only good days lately ... and good nights too.. no nightmares so far, though it is still pretty hard for me to get up early :P i can finally smile again, sometimes without any reasons and people around me think that i am crazy... which i sure am... (sometimes) but not these days.
the only bad news.. russian still cant play football .. even with Guus Hidding as a main coach.. they are just not born to win and to score :( i am not sure if they manage to qualify to EURO 2008... anyways i guess nobody expects them to be there but people still hope .. and i hope too
i havent seen alexandra for 3 days, only talked to her on phone (she sounds so funny :)) and today i finally got to see her and even had time to play with her. That was so good :)
i've got new duties and responsibilities at work, which is good on the one hand- work is not so boring anymore, but on the other hand - they are not going to pay me more for this ... of course it is not all about money but still.. money is important :P
ok, enough for now.. i just dont know what else to write about :))


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Because you are my friend :)

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I'll make fun of you every chance I can.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever s**t you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.This is my oath... I pledge it till the end.
"Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend.

- again found in net, author unknown


15 things you probably never knew or thought about....

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyones would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

- found in net, author unknown


Monday, October 09, 2006

is the world over? no it is not!

i thought my world was over but now i realize that thinking so was silly. My world just shook and then came back to its normal state. well... may be not a normal one but sure it still does exist in an absolutely new form. And i sure like it :)
i am like a newborn but a newborn with some knowledge and experience which makes it easier to get adjusted to this world and to avoid mistakes that have been done in a previous life...though this previous life was there just a few weeks ago..
it seems it is always like that...we change a lot of worlds while we are living... every time we think this world is going to crash and never be rebuilt... but we always get through and success in building new worlds :)
important is that we dont try to rebuild an old world and start on building a new one.
well... re-reading all this i realized that i have chosen the wrong job.... may be i should have become a builder or someone like that ;))
ok... all i know now that my world is not over and i love it :)



first time for the last couple of months i feel happy. i have almost forgot how it is to feel that way ... just being happy without any restrictions, smile without any visible reasons, sleep without having nightmares... no pains, no stress, only positive thinking - i really do enjoy being myself again. of course that experience made me change myself but we all change with the course of time but not always we realize that it is better so :)
even work is going better now when i feel so different ... i really do love it :)
life can be fantastic even when it also can be unfair to us. i dont know what will happen tomorrow or in a week or in a month but i really dont care, may be for the first time in my life ...
i like living today, i enjoy being here and now and what i really wish is - that tomorrow will never come ;)
ok-ok, just kidding
life is good, enjoy it and be happy :)))


hello world

i dont know which number this try of starting a blog has, but i hope i will stay here :)
i used to blog for the last 10 months on one pretty nice site but because of some personal reasons i decided to close that one and start a new one. i tried several blogsservices and have chosen 2 of them, so i will try to maintain the 2 blogs if it is possible, of course ;)
ok, thats enough for now, time to be back to work :)


Saturday, July 29, 2006



Me in BlogsWorld



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