Just A Click Away

People say the 21st century is a century of lonely people. It does not wonder anyone anymore because in the hectic world of today, trying to catch up with so many things makes us forget about the social nature of a human being.

We go to school striving for better marks to get a place in a better university. Once we are done we leave school and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go to college struggling with assignments and again striving for good marks and appreciation to get a place in a better company. Once we are done we leave college and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go each and every day to office struggling hard for a better place here, making a career, having no sleep, no food, no social contacts except the ones in the work place. We say sorry to the few of our school friends who are still there because we can not find time for them. Or they say sorry because they can not find time for us.

We are so much behind in all kinds of social activity because we are busy all the time trying to find our place in life.

Going out with friends? Err... when was it?

Party? Only every once in a while.

Shopping? Even not every weekend.

List is really long and quite the same for everyone.

No wonder that the most often performed activity in a free time (when you get a free time) is sleeping. But only because we wouldnt be able to survive without it.

And in the 21st century a new meaning is given to new communication means, internet in the first place. It happens more and more often that many of us consider as best friends people they have never met. People that live in the different parts of your own country and sometimes even outside of it. People that are just a click away.

They are there for you always, they respond to your mails quickly, they give advice when needed, they give you hugs and kisses that seem to be more real that the ones you miss to get from people you used to call friends for many years of your life. Their biggest advantage is that they are THERE. And you share with them things that you cant share with anyone else, you talk your heart out, you cry with them, laugh with them, you have fun, you have fights. Just everything you used to do with that friend who lives next door to you but now so busy that can not find time to give a call.

They are friends. And nobody wonders when you say you have never met your best friend in person. Nobody judges when you say you love them more than people around you. Nobody is amazed that you devote such amount of "free" and "not so free" time to them. Because almost everyone has such a friend and knows how it feels.

But friendship is not the only thing we seek as human beings. We long for love and romance. But how is it possible when you leave home at 8 am and get back at 9 pm with the only thought - just to get rest. And it is not like there is a huge queue of fans waiting at your door and wanting to propose you. Lucky are those who meet their soulmates at college or in the office. What about the rest of us?

And people have found the answer. Internet with the large number of social communities and dating services with instant messaging and what not gives you an opportunity to get to know people. And the one who yesterday was your best friend online is now more than just a friend. You are confused, worried, dont understand how it might have happened and what exactly you feel. Is it love? Infactuation? Something that should replace your own loneliness? But it feels damn real, doesnt it? You try to resist the feeling because the same people who said it is ok to have a best friend you have never met, now continue the sentence with .... "but you cant be in love with him/her if you never have seen them in real". And you keep thinking they have a point in this.

Where is the difference for you? Friendship.... and ... love... Two relationships so different and yet so similar. You dont know what to do, what to say, how to explain. But you are very much sure that what you feel is real. Then why to listen to what are others saying? I mean thats what you feel and even if it is a mistake, it is your mistake. What I truly believe that nothing is a mistake when it is about your feelings. If you feel it is real, then it is real because nobody except you knows how you feel and what is going on. They can guess, they can suppose but they can not know!

Why are we so quick to judge? When our friend tells us he/she is in love with someone they have never met why is our first reaction so negative? It scares them off, they are already confused about what they feel and now we add more to this. There are 6 billion people on this planet and why are you so sure that the one your friend fell for is not the right for him/her? Sometimes people wait for the perfect soulmate for the whole life and dont meet them. But here is your friend who might have got a chance and they are about to miss it because you dont believe in such things happen.

Thats all so much complicated and then it is very easy. Human feelings are difficult to be grasped, impossible to be explained. But if you feel thats the right thing to do, if you feel this warmth, this love, care.... why dont go for it? Maybe there wont be another chance? Or maybe this chance is exactly what you need for now :)

Because when so many are lonely it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.

And that was another Tuesday Love Ramblings

PS: Inspiration to this post: my friend got to know his gf through internet. he is from Canada, she is from Brazil. After long months of communication through net he (despite all his friends and his family warning him it is not love and not real) moved out to Brazil. They got married and now are happy in love :)

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why can it not be just SIMPLE?

Feel really weird today. I can not say it is a feeling of laziness, just want to be left alone and not do anything at all.. Just close my eyes and being brought to some safe and empty place where no one could tell what and when to do.

Maybe it is just a feeling of being too tired - working without weekends right after the hospital dont make things easier but i really want things to be more simpler than they are. Sometimes i think everything is so much complicated that i do not know how to deal with it.

I try to manage things and everything seems to be alright but it is not as alright as i want them to be. It is just ok but ok is not really enough. Why cant everything be just SIMPLE. When you know what to do and how to do it, when you go straight your way and nobody stays in it making things more difficult than they are. Why do we have to depend on others. Why can i not just do things the way i want to... being diplomatic, trying to be nice and friendly to people who think they are allowed everything and anything! why cant i just close my eyes and stay away from all of them, going for a while to another universe - the one of my own. Why do we have all these responsibilities? And why can i not just take a small break.... It is really a weird feeling. It is a wish to be left alone but not a wish of loneliness, wanting time for yourself but not too far from anyone else. Being gone far away but not for long.... Dreaming your dreams but knowing they are just dreams. Living one day, one hour, one minute for yourself but not for someone else.

Wanting to cry but having no tears. Knowing that everything will be fine but still worrying about things... Life is weird, today is weird... and the only one wish i have at this very moment is impossible for right now because in the whole Universe (my Universe called my life) there is not a single place where i could be left alone.

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Cursed City

This was written on the same day as the previous one, but i was too lazy to post it here :D

“Hey, Mike, where are you?” – Mary couldn’t get rid of the thought that she won’t be able to find the brother. She has been looking for him since the morning and it was already 4pm and still no sign of a little devil. When Mike doesn’t want to be found nobody will manage to find him. Nobody except may be Mary, his twin-sister. They say it right; twins have this special connection with each other and can feel each other better than anyone else can do. But today this connection just didn’t work. Mary wasn’t able to find her brother. And exactly today was the day when she needed to do it quickly, their family was leaving the city.

In fact their family was one of the last still staying in the city and Mary was pretty much scared because she didn’t know what to expect. Life has changed recently, everyone was scared, people kept saying that the city was cursed. Cursed…. When Mary though about it she considered it might be the truth. Weird things started happen in the city. It began about 2 weeks ago. When the little child of the Strawns got sick and they had to get him to the hospital. Nobody paid attention, really. Children are children. They eat forbidden stuff, play in cold water and do each and everything to make themselves sick. That’s why nobody cared when this little imp got into the hospital. Actually at first people even didn’t notice.

The rumours started later. When other children in the town also got sick. First they thought, nothing serious, epidemic. Then, the old Marcus Timbald died. Of course, you can say he was old and it was his time. But he never had any health problems and could live at least one hundred years more. Just one day he didn’t come out of his nice white house and nobody even cared what happened until someone (who was it by the way? no, Mary couldn’t remember now) found the dead body of Marcus. And even then people didn’t talk much about this. They only whispered that’s it is not that much good when too many bad things happen at once.

And then it started. If someone fell down he immediately broke an arm or a leg. If someone had to drive a car, he got into accidence. If people planned picnics outside there was a storm. If children went to a playground it was surely destroyed and absolutely not possible to be used. People started to talk about it, first only with their family members, sharing their fears and doubts, then with neighbours, then with friends, with the friends of friends and soon the whole city was humming, trying not to get too much scared, not to panic.

But where is unexplained matter there is is a newspaper hunting for sensations. And where is newpaper with “The City is Cursed” – Title on its front page, there is panic. People got scared and didn’t care that they leave everything behind. All they wanted to do was to move out as soon as possible, to leave this city, to start a new life in a less dangerous place. In their hurry they only argued, fought and made everything worse. Not a single good word has been heard in this city in the last couple of weeks. Not that it was there ever before. People just stopped being nice to each other, to save their own lives was the only thing that mattered.

Mary and Mike’s family was one of the last who still were staying in the city and probably the only one which didn’t suffer from all this weird happenings. Nobody broke any part of the body, nobody got into accidence, nobody was sick. Happily for them. Though depends on the point of view. Other citizens also noticed that the luck was with this family and came out with the suggestion that it was them who cursed the city. “Rubbish talk”, thought Mary. – “Why should they, and more than that how could they possibly do this?” But it wasn’t the problem now, all she should do now was to find Mike.

“Mike!” – she kept shouting. “Come on, we need to get home, it’s about time.” Suddenly she saw a move, a few feet away from her someone was hiding behind the tree. Could be a cat or a dog, thought Mary, but then remembered that the pets left the city even earlier. When she thought about it, she realized it was even before this whole “cursed”-thing had started. “Weird,” – thought Mary, but couldn’t make this thought keep there for a while because she finally saw her twin-brother.
“There you are, Mike” – she cried. “I’ve been looking for you since morning. Come on, we need to get out of here. The city is cursed”
“It is not, sis. And I won’t go anywhere. We are perfectly safe here”
“Hey, dumbo, haven’t you heard that this city isn’t for living anymore, people leave it, we need too. It is cursed.”
But Mike was stubborn. “I know what I am talking about. This city is fine. It is all about people”
“What is about people? Mike, what are you talking about, we need to get out of here”

But Mike even didn’t move. He sat down under the tree and prepared for the long talk. Mary didn’t like it. She knew that when Mike had such a face expression it wasn’t good. Well, it was good because it meant he had a point to discuss and had his arguments. But it wasn’t good right now when she was so scared and wanted to leave this place. But she knew her brother and knew he won’t even move until they have the talk. Looking into his face now she suddenly felt good. He seemed to be sure about all this, like he knew they were not in any danger. And she believed him. May be it was because of this special twin-connection, or because of the love they all shared in their family but she felt she is safe now and was thankful to her brother for giving her this feeling of security.

But the talk was still due. She sighed but sat down near her brother. “Ok, now say,” – she demanded. Mike looked at her curiously as if checking is she ready for a serious talk or not. Finally he broke silence.
“Do you remember how it all started?”
“Sure, I do, this small child got sick and then…”
“No, no, no”, - Mike interrupted her impatiently. – “Think, it was even before. What happened before?”
“I don’t understand,” – Mary spoke perplexedly.
“Dogs…. and cats”, he tried to give her a hint.
“What’s wrong with them?” – wondered Mary. Then she realized. “They left the city even before their owners! But why?” – she looked curiously at brother waiting for an answer but the boy didn’t hurry up to help her with that. Realizing he won’t give her much help here she started to think aloud. “People make pets. Why? Because they feel lonely, or because they need to share their love with someone and because they want their children to play with them. That’s all about care, and care is all about love. Why do the pets leave their homes? Because they don’t get what they need anymore. And what is this thing they don’t get? Hmm… that’s a bit tough. Oh Nooo!! that’s not tough at all,” – exclaimed she. – “They missed on love. They don’t get love and then they go elsewhere to look for it”. She again glanced at her brother only to make sure her guess was a right one. And it was!

Her brother smiled at her. “Look,” – he said. - “The city has been missing on love, everyone has become too selfish, they even didn’t care about their own children. When the old Marcus died, nobody even cared and he knew everyone here, he went to school with ones, played football with others, told stories to the kids. He was the heart of this city and when he died they even didn’t notice!”
“But then all these accidences, illness, it can’t be because of love only. Or rather the lack of it”
“Think, my dear sister, think. When did you heard last time the nice friendly word in this city? When did you see the friends talking cheerfully and playing pranks on each other, when did you see people smiling at you, sharing anything positive with you?? No love, no smiles, no positiveness. Everything is black. Animals felt it before us and left. People try to leave the city but it won’t change anything, their minds should be changed, the way they feel.”
“But…. how?” – Mary was confused.
“If it is not a curse, then it can be changed, right, sweetheart?” – Mike stood up, and headed into direction of their house.
Mary hurried up after him crying “How?”
He turned back and smiled: “There is the only way”
“Which way?”
“Love can grow only by sharing” – the answer was.
Mary smiled, may be for the first time in the last few months and noticed that the few of left in the city people smiled back at her.
“Love can only grow by sharing” she repeated and knew exactly what it meant.

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