I want to Give Lena a Gift

I decided too write something more personal rather than some abstract articles about love and relationships and what not. I am quite a mess these days, so sorry if you have not found me on any of your blogs. I commented on few only when i really felt like this but have read almost everyone on my blogroll. Life is kind of hectic these days, trying to sort out some personal stuff along with family responsibilities and work intrigues. Not that pinky coloured but still..

My both nieces are very sick. The small baby is in hospital now with my sister. Flu is extemely late this year. Winter has gone, spring is here with warm sun but flu epidemic captured this city and everyone i know is sick or has been sick or is about to fall sick.

Little Alexandra has fever for 5 days already and no medicine can actually help her. Though today she is already feeling better. This post is completely dedicated to her, the sun of my life, the love of my life, my little Alexandra or as we all call her Sasha :)


She will be 5 in summer and even though she was born premature nobody would say this now, she looks like she is a school kid at least 7 years old.

People say kids all are cute and beautiful. Well... they are, but everyone knows that their child is the most...
most beautiful
most intelligent
cuter
smarter
the best :)

And it is true, for their family they are :)

Some words of "wisdom" /my daily dose/ from my little angel.

We should find someone for Lena. It is not fair. Mom has Dad, Grandma has Grandpa. Lena has no one, we should find someone for her. Ended up with me getting some teddy to sleep with :D

Watching TV. There was Putin's press-conference.
Me: Look, you know who is this man?
She: No
Me: This is Mr. Putin, our president. Got it?
She: yes
Me: Who is this man?
She: I dont know
Me: Sweetie, this is our president, Mr. Putin
She: okay
My mom: He is the main person in the country
She: (after long pause, surprised) But you said i am the main person in the country??
Me: Well, he is too..
She: okay, i will be the main girl and he will the main man, is it okay? Me: Sure, honey

Me: I dont want to go to office today
She: you have to
Me: why?
She: you have to earn money
Me: what for?
She: for buying me a pony, you dumbo! (Hasbro Pony is her current dream)

She: Grandma, i want to give Lena a gift
Me: no, dear, its okay, i dont need it
She: Grandma, give me a broken toy that i dont use anymore, i want to give it to Lena
Me: ROFL

She: (after getting an injection) you, scoundrels....
i wonder from where she got the word?

My mom after i came home from office: there are pancakes in the kitchen. Get some before it is too late.
Me going to the kitchen, no pancakes.
Alexandra: it is already too late, i gave them to the dog.
Me: **speechless** (thinking - "good for figure")

She(when she was 3): It is my computer.
Me: sweetie, it is mine!
She: then where is mine?
Me: you dont have one yet
She is crying
Me: we will buy you a computer.
My mom to me: you can buy yourself a new one and she will get this old (which was quite new by that time btw)
Alexandra: you dont dare to give me an old computer. I need only a new one!
Now she has a new one..

These are the ones that came to my mind now, maybe will come up with more later :)

PS: those who subcribed to the story blog http://iloveyounot-story.blogspot.com/ you are very much welcome to read and give some feedback on it!

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The Wish

Just updated the story, changed some passages, seems like it has become better :)
Re-posting it again as the question about wishes is of great importance for me nowadays.
Will write about it later, maybe even tomorrow (today :D)

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Very carefully, trying not to wake up the grandmother napping beside her bed Ann stood up, and came to the window. It was very late in night. She and grandma were reading an amazing magical story about not less amazing Cinderella. And then they both fell asleep. Ann smiled when she remembered the discussion they had about who is the most wonderful hero of the story. The grandmother insisted it was Cinderella herself but Ann argued. How could it be possible - of course Cinderella was beautiful in her wonderful dress and new shoes but can she be compared to the magical fairy, the one who can make your wishes come true, the one who can light up your life by fulfilling the deepest and innermost desires of your heart.

Ann smiled. Her smile, the smile of an innocent child, pure and beautiful, was like a smile of an angel, enlightening everything around, making believe that miracles happen.

Miracle… That was what Ann longed for, what she needed most of all. She looked out of the window. It was late October night. Starlit night, dark sky was so close to Ann that the thought about taking one star from it and making a wish struck her mind. Was it possible? Ann looked attentively if there was any star falling; she used to wish on stars though her wishes never came true. But today there was a special night, the night to her seventh birthday, so maybe she will be a bit luckier and her wish will be granted this time. But no, nothing like that. Stars stayed on their places smiling archly at her as if saying “No, dear Ann, we can't help you on this, that’s not our task, you have to wait patiently”.

How long does she have to wait? Since the death of her mother all she did was waiting. First, waiting for the mom to be back. But soon she realized that mom didn’t leave her. She just didn’t stay with her the way Ann wanted her to be. Since that day when her mom had to go to the best world everything changed.

Her father had work in the other city and Ann had to stay with the grandmother. She loved cozy sweet evenings with her, it felt great to know that you are loved and taken care of, but even then somehow Ann missed something. You can say it was the presence of the mother but no, at least not in the way you thought about it. Her mother was always with her, showing her love and comfort for this little angel. In a way that not everybody can understand, but Ann always knew her mother didn’t leave her. She just took another place from where she could have a better chance to look after her daughter and to lead her the way that she was supposed to go.

No, it was her father that the girl was missing. Staying at the closed window on this beautiful October night the girl seemed so lonely and unprotected, so it was no wonder that someone out there decided to help her a little bit. It started snowing.
Have you ever seen the first snow? That’s the most amazing thing nature has gifted us. Lonely beautiful snowflakes, so cold and so warm at the same time. Whirling or falling slow down, they just ask you to take them into your hand or even try on your tongue. Ann hesitated. Should she open the window and try to catch one of them. It was still cold outside and she was afraid the cold wind might wake up the grandmother. But the desire was so big that she couldn’t stop herself.

She opened the window, and caught the snowflake. Little angel was curious to talk to it.
“Where are you from?” – she asked.
“I am from a very very far place where everything is possible”, - replied the Snowflake. Ann didn’t even wonder that the snowflake was talking to her.
“How are you doing?”
“I am good, but what about you, you seem to have some troubles, sweet child.”
“No, really I am not, it is just…”
“What?”
“I have birthday tomorrow.”
“I know”
“How?”
“I am a magical snowflake, you should have guessed.”
“Magicaaaaaaaal??” – wondered the girl. – “And you can make the wishes true?”
“Yes, I can, is there anything I can do for you?”
The girl smiled and started already to tell about her innermost wish. “Can you..”
But the Snowflake said: “No, that’s the only thing we can't do, but you know that she is always with you, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do, but it is not the same..” The girl smiled sadly.
“I know, sweet, I know. But there where she is now she can take better care of you, she can see every step of you, every second of your life, and she is always there to protect and to comfort you. Choose another wish, Ann.”

Ann was so sad and she even didn’t notice that the Snowflake knew her by name.
“Then.. then.. I want my dad back, it is my birthday and I miss him so much and he can't come, it is all about the weather, his plane can't take off and he won't manage it to my birthday. But you are magical, aren’t you? You can do this, can you?” – with the voice full of hope begged the little angel.
“I will see what I can do, sweet”, answered the Snowflake. “All you have to do is just to close your eyes very tight and wish from all your heart.”
“Wish with all your heart….” repeated the small kid.
“Will you remember this?”
“Yes, I will”
“And now let me go, I have to go my way.”
“And what is your way?”
“I will melt when I come to the ground and then will come back the next year, and who knows, maybe we will get to talk next year to each other. And now you know what you should do.”
Ann let the Snowflake fall down and melt…

Bumms... the book flew down and hit the floor. The grandmother opened her eyes, looked at the bed and noticed the girl wasn’t in. She wondered but didn’t have time to think about it as the door bell rang. She went to open the door.

Early morning… Ann felt someone pick her up. Still sleeping she asked, “Dad, is that you?” And she even didn’t have to open her eyes to make sure. She knew that the Snowflake didn’t lie to her. It made her wish come true.

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Decision Making

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way? Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.
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Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

(from another forward mail)

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A wish

Finally a story, written by me and not by someone else :)

A Wish

Very carefully, trying not to wake up the grandmother napping beside her bed Ann stood up, and came to the window. It was very late in night… she and grandma were reading an amazing magical story about not less amazing Cinderella.. and then they both fell asleep. Ann smiled when she remembered the discussion they had about who is the most wonderful hero of the story. The grandmother insisted it was Cinderella itself but Ann argued, how could it be possible - of course Cinderella was beautiful in her wonderful dress and new shoes but can it be compared to the magical fairy, the one who can make your wishes come true, the one who can light up your life by fulfilling the deepest and innermost desires of your heart.
Ann smiled. Her smile, the smile of innocent child, pure and beautiful, was like the smile of an angel, enlightening everything around, making believe that miracles happen.
Miracle… that was what Ann longed for, what she needed most of all. She looked out of the window. It was late October night, starlit night, dark sky was so close to Ann that the thought about taking one star from it and making a wish struck her mind .. Was it possible? Ann looked attentively if there was any star falling; she used to wish on stars though her wishes never came true. But today was a special night, the night to her seventh birthday, so may be she will be a bit luckier and her wish will be granted this time, but no, nothing like that. Stars stayed on their places smiling archly at her as if saying “No, dear Ann, we cant help you on this, that’s not our task, you have to wait patiently”.
How long does she have to wait? Since the death of her mother all she did was waiting. First, waiting for the mom to be back until she realized that mom didn’t leave her though she also didn’t stay with her the way she wanted her to be. Since that day when her mom had to go to the best world everything changed, her father had work in the other city and Ann had to stay with the grandmother. She loved cozy sweet evenings with her, it felt great to know that you are loved and taken care of, but even then somehow Ann missed something. You can say it was the presence of the mother but not, at least not in the way you thought about it. Her mother was always with her, showing her love and comfort for this little angel. In a way that not everybody can understand, but Ann always knew her mother didn’t leave her, she just took another place from where she can have a better chance to look after her daughter and to lead her a way that she was supposed to go.
No, it was her father that the girl was missing. Staying at the closed window on this beautiful October night the girl seemed so lonely and unprotected, that it was no wonder that someone out there decided to help her a little bit. It started snowing. Have you ever seen the first snow? That’s the most amazing thing nature has gifted us. Lonely beautiful snowflakes, so cold and so warm at the same time. Whirling or falling slow down, they just ask you to take them into your hand or even try on your tongue. Ann hesitated. Should she open the window and try to catch one of them. It was still cold outside and she was afraid the cold wind might wake up the grandmother. But the desire was so big that she couldn’t stop herself.
She opened the window, and caught the snowflake. Little angel was curious to talk to the snowflake. “Where are you from?” – she asked. “I am from a very very far place where everything is possible”, - replied Snowflake. Ann even didn’t wonder that the snowflake was talking to her.
“How are you doing?”
“I am good, but what about you, you seem to have some troubles, sweet child”
“No, really I am not, it is just…”
“What?”
“I have a birthday tomorrow”
“I know”
“How?”
“I am a magical snowflake, you should have guesses”
“Magicaaaaaaaal??” – wondered the girl. – “And you can make the wishes true?”
“Yes, I can, is there anything I can do for you?”
The girl smiled and started already to tell about her innermost wish. “Can you..”
But the Snowflake said: “No, that’s the only thing we can do, but you know that she is always with you, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do, but it is not the same..”. The girl smiled sadly.
“I know, sweet, I know. But there where she is now she can take better care of you, she can see every step of you, every second of your life, and she is always there to protect and to comfort you. Choose another wish, Ann”
Ann was so sad that she even didn’t notice that the Snowflake knew her by name.
“Then.. then.. I want my dad be back, it is my birthday and I miss him so much and he cant come, it is all about the weather, his plane cant take off and he wont manage it to my birthday. But you are magical, aren’t you? You can do this, can you?” – with the voice full of hope begged the little angel.
“I will see what I can do, sweet”, answered the Snowflake. “All you have to do is just to close your eyes very tight and wish from all your heart”
“Wish with all your heart….” repeated the small kid.
“Will you remember this?”
“Yes, I will”
“And now let me go, I have to go my way”
“And what is your way?”
“I will melt when I come to the ground and then will come back the next year, and who knows, may be we will get to talk next year to each other. And now you know what you should do”
Ann let the Snowflake fall down and melt…
Bumms... the book flied down and hit the ground. The grandmother opened her eyes, looked at the bed and noticed the girl wasn’t in. She wondered but didn’t have time to think about it as the door bell rang. She went to open the door.

Early morning…Ann felt that someonepick her up. Still sleeping she asked, “Dad, is that you?” And she even didn’t have to open her eyes to make sure. She knew that the Snowflake didn’t lie to her. It made her wish come true.

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Some more pics...

I just love these ones, so thought of posting pics here :)

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Some words of wisdom

How do you decide who to marry?
Answers by children

1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan,aged 10
2. No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before,and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. Kirsten, age 10

What is the right age to get married

1. Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10
2. No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to ge married. Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

1. You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?

1. Both don't want any more kids. Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

1. Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8
2. On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

1. I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?

1. When they're rich. Pam, age 7
2. The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 7
3. The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

1. I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing; I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. Theodore, age 8
2. It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn't get married?

1. There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there. Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?

1. Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

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Do you have the life you wanted??

It's amazing because, when you're a kid you see the life you want and it never crosses your mind that it isn't gonna turn out that way.

Just a weird thought of mine, I have lots of them :) - i mean thoughts .. and some are WEIRD!!!

As children we see our future just perfectly and know exactly what we will do, how we will do this, why we will do and with whom we would like to do this. And even if we realize that it will be difficult (mostly we sure dont realize ;)) we truly believe nothing is impossible.

And even when we grow up the thought of this "Nothing is impossible" is stuck inside our heads and we keep repeating it for some motivational purposes though even the people with most positive attitude know it is not like that :)

But somehow the thought of this "everything is possible" is very nice to our minds and our hearts. I am the one who believes "Nothing is impossible", may be because i have more of a child in me still than necessary, may be because i still believe that life can turn out the way i have seen it in my childhood (can i say foreseen???)

But back to the original thought.. how many of us remember our kid's dreams and pictures of "adult" life? and how many can say that what they have dreamt 20 years ago (OMG!!! cant believe i was able to have dreams 20 years ago - seems like an eternity back in time) has come true or that they still want it to come true??

Thats so easy for children, for us as children: you just KNOW that one day it happens, but then when it DOESNT happen, you arent disappointed as you are not a child anymore and dont expect this to happen.

I dont know if i could express what I meant, thats kind of dificult, but you know what??? I told in the beginning - it was a weird thought!! ;)

The main idea is - do we have the life we wanted as children and if the answer is 'NO' .... then Are we disappointed about it??? and would we have been disappointed then 20 years back if we knew we would never have life we want?

I know we want different things from life at the every stage of our presence here - and thats silly to suppose that life we wanted as children is the same as life we want as adults... but if we drop some details and concentrate on the big things only.. considering how wise children are - isnt it the best we want for us as children and which rarely comes true because while growing up we lose something important, something we hardly will be able to find, that part of our soul that just KNOWS "Nothing is impossible" :)

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