Do You Have a Life You wanted?

I have been out for a business trip for over a week and am going to write about it but not today. Today i just felt this urgent need to update my blog just with anything but feel too lazy to write something new :D
Hence this is a repost.

It's amazing but when you're a kid you see the life you want and it never crosses your mind that it isn't gonna turn out that way.

As children we see our future just perfectly and clearly and know exactly what we will do, how we will do this, why we will do and with whom we would like to do this. And even if we realize that it would be difficult (mostly we sure dont realize it or rather don't think that we have to THINK about it) we still truly believe nothing is impossible.

And even when we grow up the thought of this "Nothing is impossible" is stuck inside our heads and we keep repeating it for some motivational purposes even when people with most positive attitude know it is not like that :)

But somehow the thought of this "everything is possible" is very close to our minds and hearts. I am the one who believes "Nothing is impossible", maybe because i have more of a child in me still than necessary, maybe because i still believe that life can turn out the way i have seen it in my childhood (can i say foreseen???)

But back to the original thought.. how many of us remember our childhood dreams and pictures of "adult" life? And how many can say that what they have dreamt 20 years ago has come true or that they still want it to come true??

Thats so simple for children, for us as children: you just KNOW that one day it happens, but then when it DOES NOT happen, you aren't disappointed as you are not a child anymore and you realize that expectations tend to fail.

The main idea is - do we have the life we wanted as children and if the answer is 'NO' .... then are we disappointed about it??? And would we have been disappointed then 20 years back if we knew we would never have life we want?

Of course we want different things from life at every stage of our presence here - and that's silly to suppose that life we wanted as children is the same as life we want as adults... but if we drop some details and concentrate on the big picture only.. considering how wise children are - isn't it the best we want for ourselves and which rarely comes true because while growing up we lose something important, something we hardly will be able to find, that part of our soul that just KNOWS "Nothing is impossible" :)

Just a thought...

Capturing Moments

If you had one shot, one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted - One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
- Eminem, Lose yourself

If I look back at my life in the past few months I can be sure i have not let anything slip. Every moment, good or bad is captured and safely stored in my gmail account. And from all those moments there are many which i cherish the most because they were spent with people I love a lot.

We can discuss as often as we want to about "online" - friends but you can't really use this term for someone who had been with you through tough and happy times, who shared with you their problems and asked for advice, who cried with you, who laughed with you, who just stayed there saying nothing but you always knew if you need them they will be there. Just a call away.

And every moment of a wonderful friendship from its first step till today is carefully saved, stored and cherished. So what if it is only written on your screen as chats' history. These are minutes of your life, hours of happiness, months of understanding and toleration, a lifetime of friendship.

Here today I am posting abstracts of chats i have had with these angels of my life, who were sweet enough to give their permission to post it (as if i wouldnt have posted them without any permission :D)

And their names are Sami, Div and Preeti - in the order of me getting to know them.

me: dumbi you didnt make attachment
div: huh?
me: i have not got anything attached
div: i fwded whatever she sent me ...ok wait
lena u r dumb :P
did u see only the mail i sent to sami?
me: i am not
div: click on the one she sent
me: i cant click on the one she sent because you are dumb :P
for that you should have sent me the one she sent and not you
div: shut up
me: :P

div: sami is not online :O any idea as to y?
me: nahhh no idea :O
div: okie
i thot u might b knowing coz u r very smart
:P
me: even smart people cant read thoughts :D
div: and sometimes dumb ppl can :)
me: ohh really? then it is just luck!
div: some people are jealous
me: some people dont know what they are saying
div: like lena doesnt know what shez talking :P
me: like divvi has no idea about what lena is talking :P
div: hahaaha n vice-versa
me: naaaa lena is smart she knows divvi is talking dumb talks :P
div: n vice-versa :P
me: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
div: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Preeti: u knw janu
thr is 1 guy
no actualy at presnt 3 guys
no no 4 :P
me: maybe 5?
Preeti: MAY B
yes thr r :D
BUT othrs r not as imp as thm
u bsy
me: me thinking about your guys :P
why are they so important?
Preeti: wat?
i hvnt sd anything yet
o thy r my grttttttttt frenz
me: ok cool :P only 5 guys?
Preeti: no 6
me: ok, now tell me about all 6 :D
Preeti: hmm
me: hmm?? so much about 6 guys?
* she did tell about one guy only

me: are you mad?
div: :O
no :P
y did u ask :(
me: how do you know that you are not mad?
div: lol....i just know...coz i am smart :P
me: how do you know you are smart?
div: i just know :P
me: how do you know?
div: do u understand?
me: how do you know you are smart?
div: shut upppp
me: no, tell me, how?
div: u dumb lady
my teacher told me :P
me: how did your teacher know you are smart?
div: lena plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :P
me: nooooooooooooooooooo
how did the teacher know?
div: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Same time - another window

me: are you mad?
Sameera: no u areeeee
me: how do you know you are not?
Sameera: cause i am not
me: how do you know?
Sameera: cause i knowwwwwwwwwww
me: how?how do you know you are not?
Sameera: *showing some weird picture*
me: and now you proved you are mad
Sameera: tat was ur pic
me: how do you know you are not mad?
Sameera: shutup
me: no, how do you know you are mot mad? maybe you are mad?
Sameera: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Preeti: u knw janu
yes i knw u knw
me: what do i know?
Preeti: love is so strnge
me: it definitely is :)
but how did my saali come to this thought?
Preeti: hmmm
i knw i dont hv brains
but a heart
thats y
;)
me: awww... me is dumb, me didnt think about the heart :P
Preeti: coz u too dnt hv brains
:)
me: yaa we both are too dumb :P
Preeti: saali dumb-bums
me: lolz thats a new term :D
Preeti: YE YE
one day we will develop a whole new language
dumb-bumb language
me: i have no doubts! am working on it since ages :P
Preeti: thn who one of us will b d mother n d fathr of new laguage
me: umm.... cant the language have 2 aunties? :P
Preeti: thn wat abt d mothers?
me: it will be an orphan
* dont try to steal dumb-bumb language.. it is patented, copyrighted and what not.. it is ours :D

me: btw i have a long weekend
Sameera: how??
me: 3 days, we have a holiday
Sameera: not fair
me: huh!! it issssss
Sameera: me wants long weekend too
*crying*
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: lolzz you were off yday
Sameera: i TOOK leave
loss of payyy
me: not fairrrrrrrrrrrr
Sameera: me is bechari
me: bechari??
Sameera: han main bechari
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: i can make you laugh
Sameera: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: i learned a new word today
Sameera: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
muje chutti chahiye
sammu ko chutti chahiye
sammu kal kaam pe nahi jaana chahti
me: whats all this?
Sameera: find out!
me: tumhe jana padega!!
Sameera: tu chup baith
tujhe to 3 din chutti jo mil gaya
me: ya ya main bahut khushi hu
Sameera: khushi nahi
khush!
khush is to be happy
me: whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sameera: khushi is happiness
not wateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
me: main still bahut khush hu
Sameera: ya ya
chal ja
me: hum saare hi dumbis hai but tum sabse zyada ho
Sameera: tum hooooooooooooooooo
me: nahi
Sameera: main nahi!
main akalmand hun
me: tum and akalmand?????? tum galat ho
Sameera: tum chup baitho
me: huh!! tu chup baith
Sameera: tu ja
me: ghas khao
Sameera: tum ghas khao
tangdi kabab
me: lolzzz
Sameera: kya?
me: aise hi
Sameera: ya ya
*you think i know hindi... thats misconception :D I dont...

And here is the wish i have got from Divvi once but now dedicate to all three of them :)

When I look at you, I cannot deny there is God,
cause only God could have created some one
as wonderful and beautiful as you
No shadows to depress you,
Only joys to surround you.
Many friends to love you.
God himself to bless you.
These are my wishes for you,
For today, tommorrow & everyday

*pic's credit goes to Sami :)

Love you girls! :)

Just a note.. story blog went private. I guess everyone who wanted an invite has already asked, so please no bad feelings if Blogger.com will say you have no permission to see that blog. Thanks.

Me and Myself

Tagged by Sameera

I am: not a has been. I am a will be. At times I think and at times I am.

I think: too much. And when I do it is dangerous for people around.

I know: nothing.

I want: peace of my soul.

I have: myself

I wish: I don’t

I hate: when people lie.

I miss: people I love.

I fear: staying alone.

I feel: that things go the right way, even if I don’t go with them.

I hear: silence

I smell: life

I crave: for harmony.

I search: understanding

I wonder: why some people are so dumb…

I regret: not for long

I love: them. They know it

I ache: when something unfair happens

I am not: perfect

I believe: that love will save the world

I dance: do i?

I sing: sometimes… only when alone. And i am never alone

I cry: often, after watching movies, after reading books… all the time :D

I fight: seldom.. almost never

I write: what i feel

I win: people

I lose: nothing. Because if you lose something it has not been yours anyways.

I never: give up on people. Always giving them second chance. (There are exceptions still)

I always: believe in the best.

I confuse: all the time. People start complaining already so I might change the habit.

I listen: carefully, if you need someone to listen to you, I will be a good choice :)

I can usually be found: online. Those who know me know where :D

I am scared: of snakes and deep water

I need: solitude. Sometimes just need to stay alone.. Not in the way to be left alone, but to find peace with myself.

I am happy about: my life

I imagine: everyone happy. Idyllic picture. Never to come true…

NOTE!

Just thought about short update. First of all, thank you all for your encouraging comments to the last post. If someone misunderstood i am not quitting blogging, neither i stop writing. Just taking a break. Not writing for a while. Maybe will post some articles from the archives which most of you have not read.

Am very busy these days, do not have time to check my own blog. Sorry for not replying to your comments and not visiting your blogs. I can really blame the lack of time for this. Am in the middle of organizing a big event, preparing a big catalogue for publishing and working for the girl who got fired last week. And it will continue like this till the middle of July. Hence most probably no updates.

Storyblog is going private since July 1st. Those interested in reading it please mail me your ids to top.lena@gmail.com. Please be sure you really are interested in reading it, because i expect some feedback from those who have invitation. If you want just to add this blog to the list of those you have access to, please do not do this.

For those who are concerned and worried, I am all fine. Thanks.
For those who would want to ask something, to tell something, to share something, to complain, to curse, to annoy me I am still reachable at the id mentioned above.

I might visit few blogs, if i dont visit yours it does not mean i stopped liking you or dont bother about you or what worse have forgotten you. It is just not like that. I visit only those of the closest friends, the ones who asked me to read or the ones i have been given links by someone as an advice for the read. Please consider it and dont hate me for anything.

I love blogging. I love my blogger friends. I love all my blogs. But i am out of it for uncertain time period. I dont expect anyone checking back for updates here but please keep in mind that i exist and dont delete me from your blogrolls.