With this post I announce finally that big party that was mentioned few posts below and rescheduled from 22nd to 30th due to my hectic work schedule.
For those who does not know thats the party celebrating an awesome friendship which started more than a year ago and blossomed into something really beautiful :)
Here you all are invited to take part in celebration in our brand new Dumbi Gang - blog.
See you all there :)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
With this post I announce finally that big party that was mentioned few posts below and rescheduled from 22nd to 30th due to my hectic work schedule.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Ok, yes, i have shamelessly stolen it because i have nothing better to post and since i have been replying to it all day somehow (is it a virus or something?) i think i got the right to post it here too and make my readers victims. One humble request, if you want to say something bad, DON'T, you better LIE! :D
Here are the questions:
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?
PS: sorryyyyyyyyyy, had to disable text selection, have been plagiarised a lot lately :(
Those who want still to copy the questions can do it here
PPS: for those who used to read my posts in reader, am really sorry but had to change to short feed because of plagiarism issues. Hope you all will understand :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
People say love hurts.
Losing someone hurts.
Being rejected hurts.
But does love hurt?
Does it hurt when you have this one person… and no matter for how long you haven’t seen each other and for how long you haven’t talked, you do come back to them every time and fall for them all over again and you love them, whether its wrong or right. You just do…
Does love hurt?
When you had a tough day and come back home and have this someone to hold you. Just to hold you, not giving a hug, you know. But hold you tight and take all your worries away.
Does love hurt?
When you know you are not alone and can rely on someone? Can believe? Can trust?
People say love hurts, but maybe that’s the only thing in the world that actually does not.
PS: you guessed it right, just another Tuesday Love Ramblings :)
PPS: go to the post below to get your party invitation :D
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Gems may be precious, but friends are priceless and the more we live the more we agree with it. And nothing can keep you apart from people you care about, because there is no distance too big between friends as love gives wings to the heart.
It has been almost the year since the great friendship was born. The friendship that marked the beginning of Dumbi Gang. And on the 22nd November we celebrate one year of totally girlie friendship: Sami, Div and Lena have got to know about each other’s existence at this very time one year ago. Miss Preeti joined us a bit later.
Here we are inviting you all to a big party that will take place on the 22nd this month (location will be given out later as it is top secret information). Of course since it is a birthday party gifts are a must. Like Richard Bach once said "Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness..." so if you want to wish for the happiness of the Dumbi Gang, you are welcome to do so by mailing the gifts to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can choose if you want to give your gift to a certain person you feel more connected to, to the whole gang of us, or to the friendship in general. Just lets have some fun here!! :)
More info on the coming party will be following… Stay with us till then… and later ;)
PS: Please consider reading my new story HERE. I really need some feedback :)
For quite many weeks already i havent written a single story and it made me upset really a lot. Finally i have written one and it is posted HERE. If someone feels like reading i would really appreciate some feedback since it is the first one after a long gap.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Who is perfect for me.
I have a friend
Who has honor degree
In loving and caring,
In comforting and sharing,
In staying close
When everyone goes.
I have a friend,
Who is there in my heart,
And even though
We are thousands miles apart,
She is still close
Which I hope she knows.
And I’ll hold her there
Sharing smiles and care,
Listening to her fears,
Drying up all her tears.
She is the one
I’ll always rely,
With her if we need
We will reach for the sky.
And if we have to,
We will get through the clouds,
Because this friendship is true
No questions, no doubts.
I have a friend
Who has faith in her heart,
Who gives me joys and smiles on her part.
Who is true and giving,
Who is happy, living
Her life at its best.
And I believe we are blessed
To find each other once,
To share the bond so special
Making the life much more beautiful.
Happy Birthday, Sami!
Love you lots, dumbi!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Disclaimer: Might be long, don't know yet, will try to reduce while writing :D
I never write personal stuff here, so whatever you have read before on this blog is all fiction. But today just felt like writing it down because thats something that totally pissed me off yesterday.
Office. 9.30 am.
I am trying hard to work, fighting my sleep which is trying to overcome me. Successful till now. Working on exhibitions catalogue. Most of russian exhibition companies are the members of our Union and they have to submit information about their exhibitions to our website. Then the info is published. Well.. not exactly then, there are various stages before that, but the end result is that the book is published.
Till some years ago they submitted the info, it was published, after couple of months they started arguing why we had published it this way or the other. All the explanations that it was submitted by them this way just didnt work. Then my smart boss suggested the idea - they should take print outs from the web site, sign them, stamp them and fax to us. In this case if they ever get any problems with us we have a proof they agreed to it. Smart, huh?
But before we work on making up the catalogue, we have to compare what they faxed to us to what they submitted to the site, because some of them tend to change info after they already signed the papers. **They are smart too**
So yesterday at 9.30 am I was doing exactly this, comparing the data submitted and the data faxed. In the middle of the process I see that one company has some big differences there. Here i must add that when they submit data to the site they dont update automatically, only I can do it manually after logging in with my password. And those who have read the instruction i had mailed them would know this. But unfortunately the guy from the company in question seemed to have some reluctance regarding all types of instruction. So he changed the info on the site, got it signed up by his boss and faxed to us. Unfortunately he didnt see that what he sent and what he submitted is different. **I remind you - the guy has problems with instructions**
10.00 am. i am calling the guy (he is in Moscow)
Me: Hello, Mr.X. You know you seem to have sent us wrong papers.
He: I dont think so.
Me: I am sorry but i am sure you sent us the wrong papers, there are exhibitions there in the list which are deleted from the site. i cant publish it this way.
He: Ok, whats the solution?
Me: You take new print outs and fax them to us (of course signed)
He: Out of question.
Me: **HUH??** And why is that? **understanding that he is scared to go to the boss again and admit his mistake**
He: I am busy now.
Me: Dont tell me you are busy. You dont have to handle 1500 exhibitions like i do. I believe you can find few mins to take printouts and get them signed.
He: Can i only send the sheets where you have wrong info from us.
Me: **if i cant have anything better... grrrrrrrrrrrrr** Sure, but i need them by the end of the day.
He: can you mail me the numbers of sheets?
Me: **HUH?? I can tell you them right now** OK, i will.
I am mailing him the numbers, explaining exactly what i need from him. He calls right back.
He: You know i found some mistakes in the info i submitted to the web site, can i change them.
Me: I am sorry, sir, but you dont have the access to the editing anymore **Thanks God!**
He: What should i do then? I need to change the name of the manager in few events.
Me: No problem, you just write them down on that printout and i will edit myself **Grrrrrrrrr, how dumb you are, couldnt do it right from the first time**
He: Ok, thanks, i will.
I am getting the fax. On the events where the name should have been changed instead of giving me new name and new contacts he writes "ANOTHER MANAGER"
Mailing him, asking to give the NAME, PHONE NUMBER and E-MAIL.
He calls back.
Call#3 (My favourite)
He: Hello again.
He: I did write ANOTHER MANAGER there.
Me: I know.
He: I will tell you the name now and you will put it there.
Me: Oh.. really? I cant do it.
Me: I need the signed papers.
He: But i am telling you the name.
Me: I cant take it, i need sighed papers.
He: And why is that.
Me: Because in 2 months you will call and ask why i put this name and i wont be able to give any proof you gave it to me on phone.
He: But you do understand i am giving you the correct name.
Me: If the papers are not signed I am not supposed to understand anything.
He: I will not send you anything. Thats crap.
Me: Thats agreement between my boss and your boss, not up to you to decide.
He: Can i talk with Mrs. S.? (my boss)
Me: **HUH?? What else you want?** Sorry it is not possible, please write the name down on the print outs, sign them up and fax to me.
He: You understand we are wasting time now.
Me: I understand you are wasting my time.
He: Can I talk to Mrs. S?
Me:**So that you will waste her time too??** No, I am sorry, she doesnt keep herself busy with such small issues.
He: So you do agree it is a small issue.
Me: I only agree it is an issue that should be solved, can you please send me the signed copy?
He: Can i talk with Mrs. S?
Me: **not again!!** Sorry, you cant. But you can talk with Mr. L. (his boss), after Mrs. S talks to Mr. L.
He: I dont think it is necessary.
Me: Then send me the fax.
He: I want to talk with Mrs. S.? **Grrrrrrrrr** I can convince her you are telling crap?
Me: **still very polite** Sorry Mr. X., but you cant talk with her because it wont change anything.
He: You should understand i have a very big event now to handle and will be busy for another 4 days.
Me: Ok, not a problem, send it to me after 4 days, i am patient enough.
He: You dont understand i will not send you anything.
Me:**is he dumb or just pretending to be?** You will else your boss will be informed about you having submitted incorrect info...
here a small Russian lesson: like in english negative form is formed by adding prefix un- (noticed - unnoticed), in russian is used prefix ne-. Thing is that some words have these pairs like pravilno - nepravilno **right-wrong**) and some dont. For example there is a word nebrezhno which means incorrect, unaccurate, but the word brezhno does not exist, so as antonym to the first word the other means are being used
here we go again
Me: Mr. L. will be informed that you made your work very nebrezhno.
He: I did it very much brezhno.
Me:**HUH?** Once you will learn some common rules of russian grammar and vocabulary, we will talk about the way you did your work, for now i need the signed copy of the print outs.
He: Can i talk to Mrs. S.??
Me:**Helpless, tired, annoyed** Sorry, you cannot but Mrs. S. sure can talk with Mr. L.
He: I will do everything possible not to send you these info.
Me: Give it a try.
He hung up. Hence call ended.
My office colleagues asking me who was the "lucky" guy i was talking to.
After hearing the name everyone sighed understandingly.. everyone had to deal with him in the past already.
PS: Mrs. S. called Mr. L., after that another guy called back, and asked very politely what he should do and promised to send the fax by today... Waiting...
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Janu is an angel. A dumb angel I must say for she is a dolt in mathematics (she doesn’t know what half of two plus two is :P and still claims to be an expert in math :P).
A lot goes into saying that she is one. No wonder she has used over 60 adjectives to describe herself to the world in the about me section of her orkut profile. But there’s one word that she definitely missed out, precisely the first that comes into my mind when I think of her- BEAUTIFUL. Ya ya she has got a beautiful figure :P besides a beautiful soul. Wondering if you got the sarcasm behind the beautiful figure thing :P.
Sweetu :) cry a bit. It might help. Don’t keep it inside. I wish I could be there and give you a bear hug. Love you so much sweets – that’s a message I received from her on my phone when I was deeply upset about something. It made me cry more…perhaps out of happiness for sharing such a special bond with someone who is miles away. After that day my phone gave a lot of warnings about message memory being full which meant I had to erase a few. Somehow that message still stays while many others have lost their places. I will not say more ;) coz it should mean a lot to her :P.
Janu though it’s your Blog’s birthday and I haven’t written anything about your much valued writings, maybe because people who read you already know.
Love you janu!
P.S- People, please do not miss ANKUR’S dedication to Janu’s blog below :). This post should not outdo his efforts of letting us know how and why we wear the colors of lena’s soul :P :P
Life has a complex formation. There is no fixed formula of success or happiness. Life gives you option, you choose one and it leads you to a path which is unseen and unheard of. Thats the life one lives for himself.
We take birth and grow up. In the initial period we have no inhibitions, no goals, no motives, no prejudices. Life of a child is so much fun without all this.
It brings smile to the faces around. A small child doesnt demand for a chocolate thinking of his future, neither does he cares. He has what we call it as "The True Color of the soul..." brightest and vibrant among all.
I just wish, when we grow, we could just help the soul grow more vibrant and bright. I just wish we dont be so selfish that we forget about the rest around us. I just wish that we start CARING whats going around...
This day is the birthday of this blog and now its 2 years old. So first, here is wishing it Congratulations as it has a long way to go.
And Second, wishing the most important thing, for it to keep up the spirit. The spirit for which i have known this blog for all this while. The true emotions about life, love, friends and relationships. Colors of her soul... Colors of our soul!!!!
PS: Written definitely not by the author of this blog, please do not praise me but birthday wishes and gifts are accepted!!!
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Finally i brought my other blog back to life. For some personal reasons i do not write all the stuff here, topics that most confuse me or seem to be questionable are/will be discussed there only, so if you are interested, you can always take a look here: This Too Shall Pass.
Monday, September 01, 2008
I have been pestered by one really really stubborn girl for not updating my blog. Yes, i have not updated it for more than a week as well as have hardly visited any of your blogs for even more. If you wonder who to blame for it, blame my work. It has all of me right now, and me who was never tired even by midnight is now exhausted and sleepy as soon as my clock strikes10 pm. So just do not have any energy to stay online long enough to catch with all the blogs. But i promise i will catch with all of them as soon as things turn back to normal.
So for now i even do not have any thoughts to put down thats why today is Awards' Day. Hope nobody minds :)
Brilliante Weblog Premio - 2008
I got this one from Rayshma
Here are the rules to follow:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog’
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then we pass it on!
And i pass the award toooooooooooooooo...
Just love the way she writes, cant compare with anyone else. Thats something that catches you and will never let you go once you land on your page!
When i first stumbled upon her blog i couldnt stop reading. This lady knows how to convey deepest feelings with the help of words.
Even though she is a busy bee these days but i always loved the way she writes.. her poetry is always a bunch of unexpressed emotions. And she picks great themes for her blog always.
One of relatively new people on my blog, but whenever i get time to read her I always wonder how wonderfully she catches emotions in her posts. One of few bloggers whose writing makes a lot of sense to me maybe because she writes on topics that are relevant to me :)
For her different poems and the way she expresses a lot with few words.
She is awesome and i love her. Hope that girl will be back to blogging soon!!!
Got this one from Ranjani months ago.
Blogging Friends Forever and Million Dollar Friend Award
Here i am ending it because i got tired and want to sleep :D
Have a great day everyone and keep smiling!
Saturday, August 02, 2008
I have been thinking lately what to write for Friendship Day since I already have written so much on this topic and just can't make my lazy mind add more to that right now. So i am asking for forgiveness by those who have read this one already but i couldnt help but repost this one which always have been one of my favourite posts on this topic :)
Some relationships can’t be defined because no definition will ever be enough for describing feelings and emotions these relationships bring into our lives. We might call it love or friendship but sometimes they are just so special that we are not able to find words.
True words which would be able to justify what we feel.
Here I am trying to find these words for people I love a lot. The ones that mean a world to me, the second biggest one after my family. The ones I am honored to call FRIENDS.
I never accepted the concept of having many friends, just because I believe in only friendship when you can completely rely on a person and trust them, when you know that when things go wrong your friends will be there for you... even before you ask them.
And I was blessed with such people and I am proud to call them friends.
Sometimes in life, you come across someone who changes your life just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop.
Someone who makes you believe that things will be good in the end.
Someone who can understand all your troubles by just looking in your eyes.
Someone who can soothe your fears with a simple hug.
Someone who is there when you're down and the world seems dark and empty.
And no matter how many times you fight with them, and how much bad stuff happened between you. When you need them, they are there. Any time, any place, anywhere.
Just because they are FRIENDS.
And if you need to talk, they’ll listen.
If you feel lost, they’ll guide you.
If you’re feeling afraid, they’ll comfort you.
If you need to lean awhile, they’ll be just a hug away.
If you’re feeling unsure, they’ll be your strength and confidence.
And this strength I get from my friends got its realization in this PROMISE:
From my smiles to my frowns
Here and now I promise
No matter what happens
I will always be there
Standing by YOU.
And I hope you know
This is true.
And in times of Happiness
You make me feel blessed.
And in time of Grief
I will give you Belief.
I’ll be there for you
When you are in need.
I will lend you a hand
So you don’t have to stand
Alone in the world
When you go out of curl.
Because we will go through
And I know we can do
As you are my friend,
Strong and brave till no end.
And here I promise
That no matter what happens
I’ll be there for you,
Thursday, July 31, 2008
She is sweet. She is cute. She is lovely. She is loving. She makes me smile without much effort. She is funny even when she is sad. She cries too much. She is mad at times. And a big time silly.
She is there for me when I need it. She loves me even if I think I don’t deserve it.
She laughs with me, she cries with me. She asks me the dumbest questions ever. She shares the weirdest memories with me.
When I feel bad I know who to turn to. When I am lost I know who will guide me.
No matter how calm or stormy my life is I know she is there for me.
No matter what I do, good or bad, I know she plays along.
No matter what I say, she knows right away when something is wrong.
And she is always right. Always.
She sees me at my worst and at my best and she still loves me.
She might call at night just because she feels lonely.
She would even not talk when she is online, but just a simple “hi” would make up for this because I know she is there and she knows I am there too.
She would share everything with me, except chocolates and ice-creams.
She is the one who knows when I am smiling, even in the dark.
And she always knows when I am crying even when she does not see my tears.
She reaches for my hand and touches my heart. More than that, she lives there, tucked so close so there is no escape, and I know she wouldn’t wish to run away.
She is my younger sister.
So what if not by blood. Our roots might not say we are sisters but our hearts surely do.
And she is getting one year older and maybe even wiser and smarter and .. and… and… (which all is doubtful) but no way she will ever lose this child inside her. And that’s the best thing.
May everything in your life happen the best way, the way you always wished for yourself.
Umm.... and by the way.. her name is Div, Divvi or Divvu... I guess she has no idea herself :P
And she has a birthday tomorrow, but i thought of posting today :)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
I have been out for a business trip for over a week and am going to write about it but not today. Today i just felt this urgent need to update my blog just with anything but feel too lazy to write something new :D
Hence this is a repost.
Just a thought...
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
- Eminem, Lose yourself
We can discuss as often as we want to about "online" - friends but you can't really use this term for someone who had been with you through tough and happy times, who shared with you their problems and asked for advice, who cried with you, who laughed with you, who just stayed there saying nothing but you always knew if you need them they will be there. Just a call away.
And every moment of a wonderful friendship from its first step till today is carefully saved, stored and cherished. So what if it is only written on your screen as chats' history. These are minutes of your life, hours of happiness, months of understanding and toleration, a lifetime of friendship.
Here today I am posting abstracts of chats i have had with these angels of my life, who were sweet enough to give their permission to post it (as if i wouldnt have posted them without any permission :D)
And their names are Sami, Div and Preeti - in the order of me getting to know them.
me: dumbi you didnt make attachment
me: i have not got anything attached
div: i fwded whatever she sent me ...ok wait
lena u r dumb :P
did u see only the mail i sent to sami?
me: i am not
div: click on the one she sent
me: i cant click on the one she sent because you are dumb :P
for that you should have sent me the one she sent and not you
div: shut up
div: sami is not online :O any idea as to y?
me: nahhh no idea :O
i thot u might b knowing coz u r very smart
me: even smart people cant read thoughts :D
div: and sometimes dumb ppl can :)
me: ohh really? then it is just luck!
div: some people are jealous
me: some people dont know what they are saying
div: like lena doesnt know what shez talking :P
me: like divvi has no idea about what lena is talking :P
div: hahaaha n vice-versa
me: naaaa lena is smart she knows divvi is talking dumb talks :P
div: n vice-versa :P
Preeti: u knw janu
thr is 1 guy
no actualy at presnt 3 guys
no no 4 :P
me: maybe 5?
Preeti: MAY B
yes thr r :D
BUT othrs r not as imp as thm
me: me thinking about your guys :P
why are they so important?
i hvnt sd anything yet
o thy r my grttttttttt frenz
me: ok cool :P only 5 guys?
Preeti: no 6
me: ok, now tell me about all 6 :D
me: hmm?? so much about 6 guys?
* she did tell about one guy only
me: are you mad?
y did u ask :(
me: how do you know that you are not mad?
div: lol....i just know...coz i am smart :P
me: how do you know you are smart?
div: i just know :P
me: how do you know?
div: do u understand?
me: how do you know you are smart?
div: shut upppp
me: no, tell me, how?
div: u dumb lady
my teacher told me :P
me: how did your teacher know you are smart?
div: lena plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :P
how did the teacher know?
Same time - another window
me: are you mad?
Sameera: no u areeeee
me: how do you know you are not?
Sameera: cause i am not
me: how do you know?
Sameera: cause i knowwwwwwwwwww
me: how?how do you know you are not?
Sameera: *showing some weird picture*
me: and now you proved you are mad
Sameera: tat was ur pic
me: how do you know you are not mad?
me: no, how do you know you are mot mad? maybe you are mad?
Preeti: u knw janu
yes i knw u knw
me: what do i know?
Preeti: love is so strnge
me: it definitely is :)
but how did my saali come to this thought?
i knw i dont hv brains
but a heart
me: awww... me is dumb, me didnt think about the heart :P
Preeti: coz u too dnt hv brains
me: yaa we both are too dumb :P
Preeti: saali dumb-bums
me: lolz thats a new term :D
Preeti: YE YE
one day we will develop a whole new language
me: i have no doubts! am working on it since ages :P
Preeti: thn who one of us will b d mother n d fathr of new laguage
me: umm.... cant the language have 2 aunties? :P
Preeti: thn wat abt d mothers?
me: it will be an orphan
* dont try to steal dumb-bumb language.. it is patented, copyrighted and what not.. it is ours :D
me: btw i have a long weekend
me: 3 days, we have a holiday
Sameera: not fair
me: huh!! it issssss
Sameera: me wants long weekend too
me: lolzz you were off yday
Sameera: i TOOK leave
loss of payyy
me: not fairrrrrrrrrrrr
Sameera: me is bechari
Sameera: han main bechari
me: i can make you laugh
me: i learned a new word today
muje chutti chahiye
sammu ko chutti chahiye
sammu kal kaam pe nahi jaana chahti
me: whats all this?
Sameera: find out!
me: tumhe jana padega!!
Sameera: tu chup baith
tujhe to 3 din chutti jo mil gaya
me: ya ya main bahut khushi hu
Sameera: khushi nahi
khush is to be happy
Sameera: khushi is happiness
me: main still bahut khush hu
Sameera: ya ya
me: hum saare hi dumbis hai but tum sabse zyada ho
Sameera: tum hooooooooooooooooo
Sameera: main nahi!
main akalmand hun
me: tum and akalmand?????? tum galat ho
Sameera: tum chup baitho
me: huh!! tu chup baith
Sameera: tu ja
me: ghas khao
Sameera: tum ghas khao
me: aise hi
Sameera: ya ya
*you think i know hindi... thats misconception :D I dont...
And here is the wish i have got from Divvi once but now dedicate to all three of them :)
cause only God could have created some one
as wonderful and beautiful as you
No shadows to depress you,
Only joys to surround you.
Many friends to love you.
God himself to bless you.
These are my wishes for you,
For today, tommorrow & everyday
Just a note.. story blog went private. I guess everyone who wanted an invite has already asked, so please no bad feelings if Blogger.com will say you have no permission to see that blog. Thanks.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tagged by Sameera
I am: not a has been. I am a will be. At times I think and at times I am.
I think: too much. And when I do it is dangerous for people around.
I know: nothing.
I want: peace of my soul.
I have: myself
I wish: I don’t
I hate: when people lie.
I miss: people I love.
I fear: staying alone.
I feel: that things go the right way, even if I don’t go with them.
I hear: silence
I smell: life
I crave: for harmony.
I search: understanding
I wonder: why some people are so dumb…
I regret: not for long
I love: them. They know it
I ache: when something unfair happens
I am not: perfect
I believe: that love will save the world
I dance: do i?
I sing: sometimes… only when alone. And i am never alone
I cry: often, after watching movies, after reading books… all the time :D
I fight: seldom.. almost never
I write: what i feel
I win: people
I lose: nothing. Because if you lose something it has not been yours anyways.
I never: give up on people. Always giving them second chance. (There are exceptions still)
I always: believe in the best.
I confuse: all the time. People start complaining already so I might change the habit.
I listen: carefully, if you need someone to listen to you, I will be a good choice :)
I can usually be found: online. Those who know me know where :D
I am scared: of snakes and deep water
I need: solitude. Sometimes just need to stay alone.. Not in the way to be left alone, but to find peace with myself.
I am happy about: my life
I imagine: everyone happy. Idyllic picture. Never to come true…
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Just thought about short update. First of all, thank you all for your encouraging comments to the last post. If someone misunderstood i am not quitting blogging, neither i stop writing. Just taking a break. Not writing for a while. Maybe will post some articles from the archives which most of you have not read.
Am very busy these days, do not have time to check my own blog. Sorry for not replying to your comments and not visiting your blogs. I can really blame the lack of time for this. Am in the middle of organizing a big event, preparing a big catalogue for publishing and working for the girl who got fired last week. And it will continue like this till the middle of July. Hence most probably no updates.
Storyblog is going private since July 1st. Those interested in reading it please mail me your ids to email@example.com. Please be sure you really are interested in reading it, because i expect some feedback from those who have invitation. If you want just to add this blog to the list of those you have access to, please do not do this.
For those who are concerned and worried, I am all fine. Thanks.
For those who would want to ask something, to tell something, to share something, to complain, to curse, to annoy me I am still reachable at the id mentioned above.
I might visit few blogs, if i dont visit yours it does not mean i stopped liking you or dont bother about you or what worse have forgotten you. It is just not like that. I visit only those of the closest friends, the ones who asked me to read or the ones i have been given links by someone as an advice for the read. Please consider it and dont hate me for anything.
I love blogging. I love my blogger friends. I love all my blogs. But i am out of it for uncertain time period. I dont expect anyone checking back for updates here but please keep in mind that i exist and dont delete me from your blogrolls.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I have been asked lately many times how do i manage with 3 blogs (i do not tell them i have 4, because i am still struggling to find time to write my novel). And then i am asking myself the same question. Why do i blog and why do i have these 3 ... ummm... 4 blogs?
When i first started blogging almost 3 years ago, it was different. It was even not for myself but for a couple of friends who had talked me into it. Those friends are not blogging anymore, and they are even not friends anymore, but i am still here. With a different blog platform, different look, different style, different posts, different me. Now it is less personal, more random, just thoughts on daily life and common truths. Things we all know but yet need to read or hear every once in a while.
Why do i blog? Now i do not know. If i had been asked it earlier i would say "Because i love writing." Now when i have found myself in writing and have my stories untold-blog, i found some peace. I write my stories for myself and it feels good. I know they are read by few more people and some really pay valuable feedback (for that i am more than thankful) but still it is for myself only.
So why i still blog?
It is not because of getting comments, friends, communication. I have enough of it in life. More than that sometimes i want to run away from all the crowd and just stay all alone.
It is not because of money. I never used my blog as any mean for earning money with my writing. Not that i am against it, just dont really feel the need.
It is not because i need advice from people. I am trying to deal with my problems alone or with the help of very close friends.
It is not because i need to write my feelings down, to vent out my emotions. Well, sometimes i really do. But usually i deal successfully without doing it this way. For this i really do not need to blog.
It is not because this or that. It is just not because...
I do not have reasons to blog.
For the questions that pop in my head every now and then, for all the positive emotions i get i have Good days - blog. There i write it short and feel good about it.
For my creative side I have Stories - blog.
And my first blog is kind of redundant right now. I do not know what to write here. Feeling lost. The best way would be to close this one and continue writing in the other 2 (3, including novel blog). Then it feels weird. This one has always been my favourite, has always attracted more people. Now i feel like i have no other choice but stop writing in here. Sad.
The only thing that prevents me from deleting this one is the number of people who keep on checking up here even if i dont update frequently. Thats the only thing that gives me second thoughts about my decision.
Anyways i am still thinking. Nothing is final. Nothing is certain.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
First of all, sorry to all of you who kept on checking for updates on this blog and didnt find anything. Neither have i read any of the blogs lately except of those who asked about my opinion on some post or very close friends. I know you will understand :) I also didnt feel this passion and wish to write. Neither a blog, nor stories. The latest thing i have written was this poem. Not that it is good. I never have been good with poetry, feeling more comfortable to write stories. And well I have written a story for Sami's contest which is going on here. Those who have forgotten to participate still have their chance :)
But today i feel this wish to write about someone whose friendship i cherish and almost lost in the last couple of days.
This guy scrapped me over a year ago, few days before my birthday back in 2007. Orkut didnt have that much privacy at that time and everyone could scrap anyone without this "you are not allowed to write in this scrapbook".
I had that pic as display picture (might be some different pic though but i remember this one) and the first words i have ever heard/read from that guy were "Is the cat sleeping or not?"
I replied. And we started talking. Every day. First about some philosophical matters. He could and still can very easily change every matter into philosophical discussion which is never boring. Then we talked about music. I am not that big a fan. I have few songs in my collections that i really like but he made my collection grow big by advising really good stuff. Thanks to him i opened "Hinder" for myself and since that there is no day without me listening to their songs.
I remember one of conversations we had. And they all were in Orkut because i refused to add him on yahoo or gtalk (i had that dumb rule not to add strangers before i know them and when he first asked i refused and then he never asked again). So now i remember one which lasted for a couple of hours and consisted only of quotes from songs. The whole conversation. Two hours. And only songs' lyrics. Of course i cheated and used google. I know he didnt.
Days, weeks, months. We grew closer, talked about things that i didnt discuss with anyone else. Meanwhile he was done with his studies and moved to Chennai from Mumbai joining some company. Of course we already added each other on all messengers but still we mostly used orkut for communication since it added a lot to its privacy. More than half of my scraps are from him I believe. And all the special numbers like 11111, 22222, 10000 and many more like 25425 were written by him. There is a lot of fun in hunting for them, and i remember how many times i cheated just to get some of them written by deleting the oldest ones. It might sound childish but thats how it goes and i like it.
Orkut has become a main medium also because he cant use any messengers in the office but found a way around blocked orkut. And every single day except weekends i spent chatting with him about each and everything starting from weather and ending with some serious discussions about private matters. He knows me better than i know myself and can predict me in everything. He knows what i will say, what i will do, how i will react. Sometimes it is scary. Mostly it feels good.
Thanks to him i met some really good people. Even meeting Sami has to do with him too, righ, dear? :)
Of course, it all was not that good all the time. With him i fight more than with anyone else. About silly matters, about serious ones. About life, about me, about him. Sometimes i feel over-possessive about him, because he is just too good to share with anyone else. (Dont take it wrong, please)
He was and still is my strength. If everything falls apart i know where to go and whom to ask for emotional support. He might be harsh with me but he is always right and it always helps.
I hurt him. He hurt me. It happened every now and then like in every relationship but we always came back to each other because thats the way it should be. I was the very first person he ever wrote a testimonial in Orkut. And i cherish these words till now because they were straight from the heart and really mean a lot to me:
He has taught me a lot of lessons in life, seems like he knows about it more than me. He explained it to me in another testimonial. And even though it might not make much sense to anyone else it made a lot of sense for me:
Testimonial of experience:-
Forget what ya dont ve
Forget that ya dont
Just Forget It
Forget that you're afraid
Forget that u r
Forget that u r alone
Think about It
Its alright, I know tht it aint easy, But thats life
We're all in thr dark looking for the light
So dont ya worry....
Forget tht U cant Love
Forget tht U cant
Just forget it
Forget the reasons why
Forget the reasons
Can you do that
Forget that u r lost
Everyone gets lost in the Journey
Stop Take a look around you
Just stop maybe it'd be better'
If ya calm down
This is ma lesson of life, i never explained anyone...took a lot of time ta put it in words...
And you wont look at the world the same anymore..
He is very talented. Not only in the poems he writes or in painting (where he really is a genius) but more in the art of friendship. He is and has been always a great friend, the kind everyone should have. The only thing i regret is that i still have not met him. And in the last couple of days i almost lost him, we have told lots of words to each other. I was more harsh than i usually am, but then i was hurt more than i usually am. And he refused talking to me which i accepted and we didnt talk to each other. Or rather he didnt talk and i tried to made him notice me. he kept on ignoring and it hurt more than anything else in the world. Imagine the broken heart because of someone who left you because they dont love you anymore. Now multiply it by 10 and you will get a broken heart of someone who is being ignored by the closest friend who (as they know) is feeling the same pain as you are. It is like having pain for both, you and the other person.
I have this ego problem. Thought if he does not want to talk i will not talk either. I have all the rights, dont i? But i just could not bear it anymore and tried my best to ignore my own pain and to concentrate on his. Forget my troubles and heal his own. After all he is one of the best person i have ever come across and he deserves better :) Not sure i succeeded. I tried my best though. Will try again because if not for friendship then to fight what for?
Once i have read somewhere "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say". He knows what i dont say and he does not need to say anything because i know what he does not say. But today i felt like saying all this. Maybe also because i know blogger.com is banned in his office too and he will never get to read this :)
**UPDATE: Please dont tell me to break the silence, guys, it is all fine now :)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Just thought of a short update. First of all, i am feeling better than ever. life is going good, very hectic with busy schedule, but still good and i am lucky to get positive emotions every day. Last one lasts even for couple of days now and i know i am late to write about it but who the hell cares. On Sunday after 15 years Russia again won Ice Hockey World Championship. In the final game in Canadian Quebeck playing against Canada these guys have done the IMPOSSIBLE and won gold medals. :) The celebrations here are going till today and it really brings a very good feeling to see all the adult and (in other days) serious people being like little kids and feeling proud for their own country after so many years.
Somehow I catch myself at the thought that i am smiling more these days, not sure what might be the reason but then again it feels very good. Just to be back to myself after couple of months of frustration. Might even be back to Tuesday Love Ramblings next week.
If someone still keeps visiting, you might have noticed i changed the name of the blog. It is now PEACE of MIND. Dont ask me why... i just felt like that. Needed a change. And i believe thats for the best. Hence the change in design. I know it is not looking the same in all browsers, am working on it.
My system at home crashed, might be some virus, though my antivirus didnt find any *sigh* Will take me up to few days to fix everything up, so no internet connection at home and i cant do much bloghopping from office, so i was irregular with blogs, now will be even less regular. Just bear with me, please :)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I have been tagged by Pri like ages ago but she is a very patient girl :D Though I decided not to take her patience for granted and finally complete the long pending tags :)
Here is the first one.
30 questions!! (umm... who the hell invented this one?)
1)LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
Umm…. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and then I realized I have not been in theater since last year, have a lot to catch up with ….
2)WHAT BOOK ARE U READING??
Me is rather writing than reading, the only thing I am reading these days are blogs, and even then I am not regular …
3)FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Nobody plays with me, I always win **sigh**
Since so many people mentioned 'readers digest' in the ir tags I believe we can call it a magazine!!
- coffee… weird, I don’t like drinking coffee but love this smell
- rains… it is a special smell, nothing can be ever compared…
- L'Eau par Kenzo … my favourite for years!! J
- maybe some more… just i need to think about it and my thinking capability is damaged these days
raindrops on the window when I am staying home
my little niece’s laugh
anything that is melodic unless it annoys me
7)WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
when you give everything to the person and realize they do not feel like giving anything in return
when you miss people who are far away
when you know that no matter how hard you try it still wont be enough
when someone you love is not happy
8)WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?
9)FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?
no fast food, sorry
10)FUTURE CHILDS NAME?
umm…. Sophia…. For a girl, because i will have a girl only… My little niece is angry with me for that because she wanted her little sister to have this name, now she wants her own daughter to be names Sophia.. Somehow I feel I will be the first :D
11)FINISH THIS STATEMENT---'IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D'
...ummm…. so many things to do…. I would buy a big house for my parents, so that they would not have to control my daily use of internet :D
And i would travel around the world for sure
12)DO U DRIVE FAST?
Me and driving?? Err… you better don’t let me anywhere near the car if you want to stay alive :D
13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Hell! Who invented this tag???
14)STORMS--COOL OR SCARY?
depends on who is there with me ;)
but in general i love them
15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
read answer #12…. Nobody lets me close to any car!!
milkshake, peach juice, tea (only black and only without sugar)
17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...
go to Moscow to visit my best friend J
18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
how does it matter??
19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I love the way it is now, have experimented enough already J
20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
Umm…. Depends on what you call as “have lived in” :D
But if I have to count then Nizhny Novgorod, Moscow, Essen.
As well as stayed for a while in Paris and London…. Wish I could call it living there :D
21)FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
football!! Meaning not American of course!!
22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Pri … she is a good writer, a mature person unlike me and i love reading her blogs… though even less and less these days
23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
now i got scared… what do you expect to be there?? Is it some secret mission of finding out where i hide the bodies of people i don’t like?
24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN??
yaa… me is a good person :D
but i would love it to be somewhere else… just not to repeat the experience completely…
25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl…. Any doubts?
26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
blame it on my insomnia or me being dumb but i don’t get the question hence no answer :D
27)FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?
Since I never relax I don’t have such a place!
umm… I love them all :D
29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?
Chocolate, peach, vanilla, cherry, strawberry… ummm….. yummyyyyyyyyyy30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Hereby I declare I was officially the last who has done this tag as it took me one month to complete this one and everyone else is already done!!
*UPDATE* i found out, i am not the only one left but still i will tag the only one, Mannu, because he asked (well not really asked but i decided it was like he asked :D )
One more of Pri is about what is there in my hand bag. I want to disappoint you, guys, nothing really interesting :D
and thats practically all :D
Am planning to make this month - the month of the tags, so that i will finally complete all the tags pending since the beginning of this month :)