Sunday, February 24, 2008

Do You Believe?

Do you believe in cloud 9? In your right to be happy? In your chances to find happiness?

If you do, why are you not happy? Or are you? Or do you want more?

We forget that happiness is always only attitude. It is up to us. We either make ourselves miserable and ridiculous, or happy and strong. The amount of work will remain the same.

You got the right to be happy. You just have to be it. If you are, everything else will fall into place :)

If you have to summarize happiness it can result in 3 words only:
I FEEL GOOD ... but they should go from heart.

Do you believe in cloud 9? I actually do... I am on it :)


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Are You Mature Enough?

Disclaimer 1: The post is long
Disclaimer 2: Some of you will not like it

As per Wikipedia’s definition maturity is a term used in psychology to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner.

Now don’t wonder that I started the post with this definition. Recently I have come across much stuff out there in Bloggerville which made me think if people really have any idea of how a mature grown-up person should respond to the circumstances.

We all can agree that blogs have become a part of our lives. The importance of this part is quite individual and results in your own activity out there among other bloggers. But for all of us blogging has given something that we now can not give up on.

Why do you blog? That’s the question you might have heard many times and now you sure know how to answer this. Some of us have great ideas they want to share with the world, some seek comfort and understanding, some take blogging as a platform for building up new relationships. For many people it is a way to write down their emotions and feelings. It is a medium to deal with stress and problems in life either on professional or a personal level. Sometimes both. Some just like to write and then we become the first readers of first-class short stories or wonderful poetry.

As you see the reasons are quite different but yet we have to agree that blogging is there to help. And it does its job well. On the other hand you have to realize that since it is an open community and your posts might be read by many you should be a little bit more careful, a little bit more honest and a little bit more tolerant about what you say. Because it might affect some people in a way you never would have expected. And when some people realize they might influence the others because of their being popular and visited and what not, they start manipulating people forming their opinions and judgments by telling the half-truths or lies.

That is what made me write this post. How often we come across someone in Bloggerville who claims to be the victim of the circumstances being hurt, insulted, abused by the other blogger. And we comment supporting your blogger friend without even knowing that he/she just manipulated you and your friendly feelings for getting some comfort and support which obviously even make him/her believe they are really a victim. Do you know if they are?? Only because they said so…

All this made me think about what a MATURE blogger should be. And made me remember few facts from my blogging experience which maybe would help us realize the possible answer to this question. All the facts are real, not made up, I have witnessed them all on my own and tried to be as unbiassed and MATURE as possible.

** You are on a friendly terms with one of the bloggers, chat regularly and exchange mails until once you have a huge fight and long-live-our-friendship has gone forever. What you do? Stop visiting their blog and commenting on posts. Or would you rather write a hatred posts on them every now and then and mention how much they ruined your happy blogging time?

** You don’t like one of bloggers but you come across his/her comments in other blogs all the time. Will you just comment on the post itself and leave or will you in your comment indirectly insult the person who commented first giving hints to other bloggers to point out who you are talking about?

** Blogger A wrote a comment on your post, then Blogger B posted a comment about why Blogger A being from another country comments on some local issues which they have no idea about. All this sounds in abusive tone. As the owner of the blog you let things as they are or would ask Blogger B to be more tolerant to other opinions, read be more MATURE.

** Someone took you off from their blogroll. You will just ignore the fact (well, everyone has the right to read your blog or not to read) or will you post anonymous insulting and abusive comments saying that this blogger is the worst one you ever came across?? Well, if they are so bad, why you read them in the first place?

** You have some argument with one of bloggers. Heated discussion and nothing more though it went deep into a personal level and some things were said that you didn’t like. Will you just forget about it and move on or put the other blogger into the black list and never again talk to them?

** Someone visits you but does not comment for some reasons. Happens to each and every one of us, does it not? Will you just keep on writing or put the ip-address of the person in your blog saying that they should get lost or at least comment?

** You receive less comments than you expected (by the way, do you write for comments only?) and then you go to other people’s blogs and ask them why they are not seen lately in your page and not commented on your posts. What a MATURE way of attracting visitors. Don’t you realize people might just be busy or maybe just DO NOT WANT to read your blog but now they have to as you practically force them.

** The other variant of it is “Did anyone tell you bad about me. Is it why you don’t visit me anymore?” Man, what kind of crap is it? If I want to read someone I will read them no matter what others tell me. I do have my own opinion, don’t you?

** You write a comment on someone’s post where comments moderation is enabled. Your comment isn’t published. You do what? Ignore it, ask why it happened so or write a post on this matter asking your readers to give opinions on the thing they know nothing about because it is something that is going on between you and this other blogger. Don’t you want to get that you are NOT welcome at that place, that your comments are UNWANTED. Why don’t you act as a mature person and leave people in peace after so much negative stuff you already brought into their lives.

** Telling everyone that some bloggers fight with you and you are sick of them but keeping writing about them and mentioning them in every second posts of yours – what a healthy and mature way of ending up a war you once have started.

I could continue the list but want to add something which is rather personal. Many of you know that once I had issues with one of bloggers. This person left anonymous abusive comments on my blog and commented on my comments in other blogs rather than commenting on the posts itself. I cant say now I acted mature but I wrote a post about all this giving out the name of the blogger. I will not hide the fact that after this I lost some of my readers but it is really ok, because I stand up for what I believe and what I said was the truth only. The story didn’t end up after that post. This blogger contacted 2 of my friends asking them to tell me to remove their name from the post. It was a very long discussion and conversation between this person and my friends and my friends and me. I refused doing so. This person practically begged my friends to convince me and I have the proofs for this and finally even deleted those comments which made me write the post. I gave up only because of my lovely and sweet friends and I removed the name. That’s why it was a puzzle for me why this blogger now claims we bargained removing the name for them removing those comments and deleting their post written about my friend. What a way of manipulating the half-truths..

We are all grown up people and prefer being called mature and wise. Then why don’t we start acting mature and wise and moving on to a new stage of our lives leaving all the bad stuff behind, stop judging others and manipulating people who have trust in us.

Because I know one truth for sure: People do not like being manipulated.
And now you open at least one truth to yourself: Are you mature enough?

Related posts:
Find Me Guilty
An Open Letter


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Just A Click Away

People say the 21st century is a century of lonely people. It does not wonder anyone anymore because in the hectic world of today, trying to catch up with so many things makes us forget about the social nature of a human being.

We go to school striving for better marks to get a place in a better university. Once we are done we leave school and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go to college struggling with assignments and again striving for good marks and appreciation to get a place in a better company. Once we are done we leave college and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go each and every day to office struggling hard for a better place here, making a career, having no sleep, no food, no social contacts except the ones in the work place. We say sorry to the few of our school friends who are still there because we can not find time for them. Or they say sorry because they can not find time for us.

We are so much behind in all kinds of social activity because we are busy all the time trying to find our place in life.

Going out with friends? Err... when was it?
Party? Only every once in a while.
Shopping? Even not every weekend.
List is really long and quite the same for everyone.

No wonder that the most often performed activity in a free time (when you get a free time) is sleeping. But only because we wouldnt be able to survive without it.

And in the 21st century a new meaning is given to new communication means, internet in the first place. It happens more and more often that many of us consider as best friends people they have never met. People that live in the different parts of your own country and sometimes even outside of it. People that are just a click away.

They are there for you always, they respond to your mails quickly, they give advice when needed, they give you hugs and kisses that seem to be more real that the ones you miss to get from people you used to call friends for many years of your life. Their biggest advantage is that they are THERE. And you share with them things that you cant share with anyone else, you talk your heart out, you cry with them, laugh with them, you have fun, you have fights. Just everything you used to do with that friend who lives next door to you but now so busy that can not find time to give a call.

They are friends. And nobody wonders when you say you have never met your best friend in person. Nobody judges when you say you love them more than people around you. Nobody is amazed that you devote such amount of "free" and "not so free" time to them. Because almost everyone has such a friend and knows how it feels.

But friendship is not the only thing we seek as human beings. We long for love and romance. But how is it possible when you leave home at 8 am and get back at 9 pm with the only thought - just to get rest. And it is not like there is a huge queue of fans waiting at your door and wanting to propose you. Lucky are those who meet their soulmates at college or in the office. What about the rest of us?
And people have found the answer. Internet with the large number of social communities and dating services with instant messaging and what not gives you an opportunity to get to know people. And the one who yesterday was your best friend online is now more than just a friend. You are confused, worried, dont understand how it might have happened and what exactly you feel. Is it love? Infactuation? Something that should replace your own loneliness? But it feels damn real, doesnt it? You try to resist the feeling because the same people who said it is ok to have a best friend you have never met, now continue the sentence with .... "but you cant be in love with him/her if you never have seen them in real". And you keep thinking they have a point in this.

Where is the difference for you? Friendship.... and ... love... Two relationships so different and yet so similar. You dont know what to do, what to say, how to explain. But you are very much sure that what you feel is real. Then why to listen to what are others saying? I mean thats what you feel and even if it is a mistake, it is your mistake. What I truly believe that nothing is a mistake when it is about your feelings. If you feel it is real, then it is real because nobody except you knows how you feel and what is going on. They can guess, they can suppose but they can not know!

Why are we so quick to judge? When our friend tells us he/she is in love with someone they have never met why is our first reaction so negative? It scares them off, they are already confused about what they feel and now we add more to this. There are 6 billion people on this planet and why are you so sure that the one your friend fell for is not the right for him/her? Sometimes people wait for the perfect soulmate for the whole life and dont meet them. But here is your friend who might have got a chance and they are about to miss it because you dont believe in such things happen.
Thats all so much complicated and then it is very easy. Human feelings are difficult to be grasped, impossible to be explained. But if you feel thats the right thing to do, if you feel this warmth, this love, care.... why dont go for it? Maybe there wont be another chance? Or maybe this chance is exactly what you need for now :)

Because when so many are lonely it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.

And that was another Tuesday Love Ramblings
PS: Inspiration to this post: my friend got to know his gf through internet. he is from Canada, she is from Brazil. After long months of communication through net he (despite all his friends and his family warning him it is not love and not real) moved out to Brazil. They got married and now are happy in love :)


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

And I Do Mean It!

First of all, I am feeling better and thank you all for your lovely comments and get-well-wishes. Still not absolutely fine and not going to the office but fever decided it is tough to fight with me and left defeated. Special thanks to Zahid for all his prayers, potions and whatever else he sent which i have not received (might be due to some traffic jams).

I have a lot to catch up with in Bloggerville, starting with my own posts and comments and then reading yours, will definitely take some time. Have too many tags to complete and i will do them all I promise, just in my own sweet time. Missed TLR yesterday - but i guess nobody will mind if i do it today especially with February 14th just tomorrow. Some lovely-sweet post on love you can read here in my Good Day Blog. And now i will do the tag dedicated to Valentine's day (thanks to Sneha for this one - must be a funny torture) - 51 things that make me smile.... Let's go!!

1.Walking in the rain
2. Looking at stars

3. Watching the first snow falling

4. The road from my bus-station to my home (like 300m) - and not vice versa, somehow i smile only on my way back home
5. "8 Mile" Song by Eminem because it was the one in my cd-player few years ago when i came back home after 1 year in Germany. And i was sitting the same way in the bus looking out of window and thinking how much my life has changed...

6. When i first notice trees are becoming green after long winter... mainly in april
7. When i wake up and realize i can sleep for a couple of hours more because it is just 4 am

8. When receiving gifts (who does not? ;))
9. When giving gifts (again who does not? ;)

10. When i am choosing between chocolates and dieting and my best friend says "Hell with the diet, we live only once!" (i guess you got that my best friend is a girl :P )
11. Talking about the figure - when i find a skirt which i wore in high school and it still fits in... it makes me smile too ;)

12. No lines in the supermarket

13. Shopping with friends

14. Skating with Alex (my little niece, such a cutie ;)
15. When she
hugs me and says "Lena, I love you!"
16. When I come home in the evening and she asks "And what you have for me?"
17. When she asks to say "Good night" in english and not in german as i do usually (lolz dont ask why in german)

18. When i see this little cutie playing by her own pretending she doesnt care nobody in this busy family can find time to play with her - makes me always run to her and give her a hug

19. When Alex asks questions like "Why you go to office? because you want to buy me more toys?" or "Lena, we need to find someone for you. Do you mind if i help?"

20. Favourite song on the radio
21. When they air "Charmed" for the uptenth time and i happen to come across it in the middle of my favourite episode

22. Chatting with friends

23. Giving a hug to someone special

24. Receiving a hug from friends when I need it (and when i dont ;)

25. Seeing someone special logging in just to say they love me
26. Wishing a great day to my friends when they are in the middle of busy hectic day, just like that, without intention to chat
27. Receiving e-mails

28. Writing e-mails

29. Knowing someone misses me
30. Knowing I have someone to miss

31. Knowing they know i miss them
32. Knowing that someone out there is thinking about me sometimes... well... ok ok, all the time :P

33. Holding hands with someone you care about (isnt it sweet? ;))
34. Having someone playing with my hair (I know i know, i have written it before.. so what? I have not changed ;))

35. Chocolate milkshake.... or well you know... strawberry... or cherry ;)

36. Sweet dreams.. i am such a DREAMER!!
37. Saying "I love you!"

38. Pillow fights with dearest friends
39. Calling my friends dumbos and them never accepting the fact!

40. Phone calls on my birthday - everyone is so sweet and say so many nice things which half of them dont mean but still ;)

41. Getting things done
42. Getting things done RIGHT
43. Knowing all my friends are fine

44. Hearing a joke which only my friends and I are able to understand

45. Seeing a cute pic

46. When one of my dreams finally comes true

47. When i look at old photographs and they take me back in time to the beautiful moments in the past

48. Pay Day ;)

49. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing me happy
50. Knowing there are people whom i can make happy

51. Being in love

And there is a saying "If you smile without any reason, you really mean it!" Lastly I noticed I JUST smile :)

I am now tagging Div, Akki, Preeti and Sami! Enjoy, girls ;)
Keep smiling! :)

PS: Lovely post it has become so i still believe it belongs to TLR, I know you dont mind ;)


Sunday, February 10, 2008

No Blogging for a while

I have been sick lately. In fact even very sick and still am :( More than that my fever just seems to be so much in love with me that it doesnt want to leave me no matter what i do. And thats the main reason i dont read your blogs, dont comment and even dont reply to your comments on my own blog. I promise to do all this once i finally feel better.
Take care, you all, and dont you dare to fall sick!!! :)


Thursday, February 07, 2008

Awards Rain

Ok, I finally got some time for passing on the awards I have received recently (mainly due to having fever and not going to the office today :P) So here I go with passing them on to all the excellent bloggers i have come across in the last few months.

The first one I have received from Sameera and would love to pass on to Div, Akki, Hope, Preeti, Ameya.

The next one i received from Sami and Jackie and would love to pass them on to all people on my blogroll as reading your blogs really makes my days (though am reading less and less nowadays due to workload)

"You are totally awesome" award came my way from Jackie and Colin and i would love to pass it on to Sami, Div, Akki, Shashi, Ameya, Hope, Preeti, Zahid, Arti and Meghna.
Originally this award comes from Kim: ‘I have a new award to hand out..They are “toadally awesome” to me… just link back to me as to the original one who started this…Thanks alot…You can hand this out if you wish to at least 15 bloggers that “toadally awesome”…’
So please dont forget to link back to Kim when you pass on the award :)

Next one was again presented by Jackie and Colin and if you find yourself in my blogroll...this one is for you ;)
"Friendly Site Award" is again from Colin and I believe everyone i visit deserves this award, so just grab it and keep this friendly policy in your blogs :)

Again the one from Colin (isnt he sweet?) and i am passing it to Sami, Solitaire, Preeti and Arti :)

"You cheer me up" - award received from Jackie and Colin and goes to Div and Zahid. Not that the others dont cheer me up, but i guess you guys know what i mean ;)

Colin and Jackie have been way tooooooooooooo sweet to me and this one is again from them :)
"Biggest Heart Award" goes toooooooooooooooooooo.....Sami, Div, Akki, Preeti and JJ

And this one passed to me by Colin and is for everyone on my blogroll :)

Well, i am getting tired :( but not far from the end so here is another award from Colin and I want to pass it on to the next bloggers: Anoop, Maverick, Meghna, Shalini, Vandita.

And last but not least is this bear hug from Divvi which i pass on to Akki (I know Div gave it to you too :P), Sami, Shashi, Ameya, Zahid, JJ, Colin, Jackie, Hope and Preeti.

Now i am sorry that only mentioned names without giving out links... but am just not feeling well today.
Love you all, and I am sure everyone of those reading this post deserves awards for doing excellent job working.
And LOL I have received Santa's award again - without even knowing i have been nominated. Thanks to those who nominated and those who voted. I am still wondering who it might be :)


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