Because you are my friend :)

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I'll make fun of you every chance I can.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever s**t you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.This is my oath... I pledge it till the end.
"Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend.

- again found in net, author unknown