It Is Raining

It is raining here. I love rains, but they make me think. So I am sitting here. Wondering. Thinking. About what has been. About what will be. Not about what is. I can’t change the past. I can’t control the future. Not now. I can change the present. Today. Or Tomorrow. Or even the day after. I am not sure I want to. I am rather sure I don’t want it. Maybe I should.

It is raining here. You can get outside. Get yourself totally soaked and dance in the rain. You can be happy for a moment, for an hour, for a day. Then you get back to reality. Reality makes you think. Reality makes you choose. And for every choice there is a price. I don’t want to pay the price now. I am not ready.

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Colors

Sometimes you need time to think. About your life, your decisions, your choices. You want to figure out what is good and what is bad. You desperately need to know where you stand. You feel like you are losing yourself in this crazy run for nothing. And all you want is just to find some colors in these drab realities of everyday life. You close your eyes to search for them. But when you open your eyes in the full conviction that yes, you finally got it, you know that trees are green and flowers are red, sky is blue and sun is so bright that it makes you happy, when you open your eyes being sure that everything will change now, it does not… all you see is the same dull reality and no colors.

That’s when you want to crawl into your bed, close your eyes and be left alone. Why? Because only then you can fight your own fears and insecurities. Only when the lights go off, you can let your thoughts out and fight with them in the silence of the night. Yes, you might be hurt, a little bruised, slightly broken, and most probably scared, but at the end of the day you still are there. And you still are fighting. And you will wake up the next morning and fight more. And you will get over it and find your colors. You will see that trees indeed are green and flowers are red. You will realize that the sky is blue and the sun is bright. And it will make you HAPPY.


Sometimes you really just want to be left alone. You want to shelter yourself in your bed, wrap yourself into the blanket and get a chance to stay one on one with your own thoughts.

But maybe sometimes we don’t have to think much… maybe sometimes we should just live, cross our fingers and hope for the best.

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No Regrets

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

Sydney J. Harris

We use to complain about life, about things we have to face, problems we have to deal with. And always we wonder what is there on the way to our happiness. We always find time for regrets. And this time should be reduced if we start looking forward to our future. Yes it happens that we should fight throughout our lives and have to confront with the past. But sometimes we just have to bury our regrets and give a promise to ourselves to change our ways.

Thing is that we should understand there are times when life is just fine, sometimes it is comfortable, sometimes amazing, sometimes boring, sometimes scary. When your day is not perfect, it is not a failure or a disappointment, never a regret. It is just another day.

Still you can't completely get rid of regrets. They are the part of who you are and our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but for the things we didn’t do, things we didn’t say but should have said to someone we care about. Especially in human relationships like romance and friendship. Because our lives begin to end when we stop talking about things that matter.

And maybe when we realise it the world will seem much more friendlier and life much more happier. It is worth a try, isnt it?

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Do You Believe?

Do you believe in cloud 9? In your right to be happy? In your chances to find happiness?

If you do, why are you not happy? Or are you? Or do you want more?

We forget that happiness is always only attitude. It is up to us. We either make ourselves miserable and ridiculous, or happy and strong. The amount of work will remain the same.

You got the right to be happy. You just have to be it. If you are, everything else will fall into place :)

If you have to summarize happiness it can result in 3 words only:
I FEEL GOOD ... but they should go from heart.

Do you believe in cloud 9? I actually do... I am on it :)

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Good or bad

I was going to write this entry for the last month or so but never managed to find time. Not that i got it now but just wanted finally to close this topic and write down whatever comes to my mind.

People.. Who are we? What are we? Are we all different or are we the same? Are we good or are we bad? If good - then who said so, and if bad - then again who said so? Who is there to judge? Are their any criteria?

Like we all I have come across many people in my life, good or bad, most have gone, few stayed. Why? Were they better than the rest? What makes them different? What makes me feel they ARE different? How do I know they are good? (they really are) How do I know they are not bad? (they are not!)

Browsing in Orkut through people's profiles I wondered how good they all are. They have nice friends, they have great testimonials saying how much sweet, lovable, adorable, caring and and and... they are. It means they are good. For these people. Not for others .. but it means they have something good with them which made others catch it and got such a great opinion about them. But if they are so good to them, why they are not so good or even worse than that, why they seem to be bad to others?

Confusing thought, huh?! Everyone is good in the beginning. Good for their families,
their loved ones, their friends.

But less good for someone else... How do I decide who is good enough for me? How can I dare to call someone bad if he/she is not, when he/she is so sweet and lovable and caring.

We are not different, thats true... we all are the same with the same dreams, desires, wishes. We want in the end one and the same thing from life. And we all are good! But somehow fail to see this good in each other. Too much busy with themselves, too much stressed up, too much blind, just too much...

I know it is all about values, we appreciate different things, we have different likings, we have differend levels of understanding. Sometimes it just clicks and then you feel you know this person for ages, even if ages are 2 weeks only! And not all will and can be your friends but it is not because people are bad (who are we to judge it?) it is just because we are different in our non-difference.

And even people who betrayed us or who were mean are good..... but good for someone else.
Which does not mean "not good enough" for us. I have been thinking about it for a while and really wondered about this confusing thought: "Everyone is good yet everyone is bad".

Depends on people who see you as you are / or as they think you are. So you are not what you are, you are what people think you are. I know that is kind of a silly and you can say that everyone knows who he/she is and there is no need of people's opinions about who you are.

But then do you know anyone who would say he/she is a bad person? I don't!..
We all are different yet the same...
We all are good yet bad.... To someone or to ourselves...

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Thinking

Today I was looking for something in my blog. I knew exactly where to find that poem i needed to refer to but somehow it took me more time because i stuck at some of my old posts rereading them and wondering if i still think the same way or changed.

We all change throughout life, getting new experiences, making new mistakes, being influenced by new people. And as a result the way we think changes and things that i said few months ago might differ from the ones i would say now.

But there are some things that will stay the same because they determine who we are and what we are worth. Weird thought but it is true in a way... I know i changed in the last year because things have happened that werent supposed to happen, people have gone that were supposed to stay, people have come who were not expected to be there but altogether everything that happened for a reason, it made me stronger, it made me wiser, it made me different.... and it even made me think different, i made me take the reality different, but in the most important matters like friendship, family, life approach it is still the same.

It is really weird... I changed but the way i think about life has not and the way i would react and comment on some points is still the same. And in fact i do not know what it means....
I only know that i like it.
Maybe it sounds weird but then i think that it might be the reflection of my sick (still not feeling well) mind.... :)

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