I am feeling...

upset
sad
sick
helpless
weak

...
just terrible with one word ... i dont know what to do .. i am crying constantly, i make mistakes, and i cant do anything good at all... how hard it is to love someone who doesnt care for you, when you realise that he will never be yours and that you have to move on but you also think that you CANT...
I cant .. cant .. really cant live like that, i dont sleep, dont eat, i have pains again ... i am tired... i want so much that everything is as before but i know it is impossible and it is so hard to accept this "impossible" ... why? i love you more than anything else, more than anyone else, and now you are just not here and it seems you will never be... i cant live with this - it hurts so much, i am like a broken doll... something has broken inside of me and i am not sure if it ever can be repaired...