Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I wanted to write today about some nice experience of mine but somehow i wasnt in the mood, and soooooo tired at that... Somehow i feel like i am absolutely out of life... My niece asks me if i am living somewhere else, my sister's dog doesnt recognize me and is trying to bite me every time i come home :O... I wonder if my parents still believe i am living here :O... I am really tired of everything...and the vacation wont help this time...
The most thing i hate to do in life is giving advice and somehow all people want my advice as if there isnt anyone else able to do it... I know i just cant say - go and ask someone else... But every session of discussing people personal matters and saying them what they have to do and how they have to do this is really exhausting, it is like living their lives, like going through their problems, like crying with them together... i am afraid that one couple days like this and i will break down... My personal work stress, and the problems of my friends will make me go crazy altogether :( ... i am already not quite normal :P Now i will be even more not normal :O.... But seriously i avoided people quite successfully these days except yesterday and today when i just couldnt stay indifferent knowng how much they suffer... and even knowing that i will have to suffer together with them coudnt stop me from asking this "tell me what happened" and now i have sooooooooo much in my head that i want to cry :'( - from all the negative emotions i had to live through these last days, and even not my emotions... Sounds weird, right? :O But thats the way i live, if people ask for help, i just let their pain go through me and it makes me suffer with them... I hope soooooooooo much that everything will be fine with them :) and then they will be able again to share only positive emotions :)
Just a pure (not a good one for me) coincidence that 3 people at the same time have their problems they cant fix alone, or they think they cant do that on their own... But 3 are too much even for me and if it goes this way i will die from this foreign emotional pain - it hurts that much that i really cant help it :(
All what is left for me is to keep smiling :) and think positive :) Which is exactly what i am doing :)
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!!! :)
Hehehe ..if someone reads :O

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