Thursday, June 05, 2008

And you wont look at the world the same anymore

First of all, sorry to all of you who kept on checking for updates on this blog and didnt find anything. Neither have i read any of the blogs lately except of those who asked about my opinion on some post or very close friends. I know you will understand :) I also didnt feel this passion and wish to write. Neither a blog, nor stories. The latest thing i have written was this poem. Not that it is good. I never have been good with poetry, feeling more comfortable to write stories. And well I have written a story for Sami's contest which is going on here. Those who have forgotten to participate still have their chance :)

But today i feel this wish to write about someone whose friendship i cherish and almost lost in the last couple of days.

This guy scrapped me over a year ago, few days before my birthday back in 2007. Orkut didnt have that much privacy at that time and everyone could scrap anyone without this "you are not allowed to write in this scrapbook".

I had that pic as display picture (might be some different pic though but i remember this one) and the first words i have ever heard/read from that guy were "Is the cat sleeping or not?"

I replied. And we started talking. Every day. First about some philosophical matters. He could and still can very easily change every matter into philosophical discussion which is never boring. Then we talked about music. I am not that big a fan. I have few songs in my collections that i really like but he made my collection grow big by advising really good stuff. Thanks to him i opened "Hinder" for myself and since that there is no day without me listening to their songs.

I remember one of conversations we had. And they all were in Orkut because i refused to add him on yahoo or gtalk (i had that dumb rule not to add strangers before i know them and when he first asked i refused and then he never asked again). So now i remember one which lasted for a couple of hours and consisted only of quotes from songs. The whole conversation. Two hours. And only songs' lyrics. Of course i cheated and used google. I know he didnt.

Days, weeks, months. We grew closer, talked about things that i didnt discuss with anyone else. Meanwhile he was done with his studies and moved to Chennai from Mumbai joining some company. Of course we already added each other on all messengers but still we mostly used orkut for communication since it added a lot to its privacy. More than half of my scraps are from him I believe. And all the special numbers like 11111, 22222, 10000 and many more like 25425 were written by him. There is a lot of fun in hunting for them, and i remember how many times i cheated just to get some of them written by deleting the oldest ones. It might sound childish but thats how it goes and i like it.

Orkut has become a main medium also because he cant use any messengers in the office but found a way around blocked orkut. And every single day except weekends i spent chatting with him about each and everything starting from weather and ending with some serious discussions about private matters. He knows me better than i know myself and can predict me in everything. He knows what i will say, what i will do, how i will react. Sometimes it is scary. Mostly it feels good.

Thanks to him i met some really good people. Even meeting Sami has to do with him too, righ, dear? :)

Of course, it all was not that good all the time. With him i fight more than with anyone else. About silly matters, about serious ones. About life, about me, about him. Sometimes i feel over-possessive about him, because he is just too good to share with anyone else. (Dont take it wrong, please)

He was and still is my strength. If everything falls apart i know where to go and whom to ask for emotional support. He might be harsh with me but he is always right and it always helps.
I hurt him. He hurt me. It happened every now and then like in every relationship but we always came back to each other because thats the way it should be. I was the very first person he ever wrote a testimonial in Orkut. And i cherish these words till now because they were straight from the heart and really mean a lot to me:

well well well...i think this is the first gonna write for anyone...Lena, Lena, aaah Lena...well i ve'nt met her yet or ever seen her...But as far as knowing her as a person is concerned, i know her inside out...Hey ,i think the legacies that people ve forgotten in these modern times are still there safe in some people of the world...Be serious, humerous, tricky, taunting, genius or anything, u got a companion for that state...the only promise ya ve to make is being true n straight...Talk about life or missing 9999, here's a friend that ORKUT has given me...when no one is there, i knw whom to rely on...God Bless n take care

He has taught me a lot of lessons in life, seems like he knows about it more than me. He explained it to me in another testimonial. And even though it might not make much sense to anyone else it made a lot of sense for me:

Testimonial of experience:-

Forget what ya dont ve
Forget that ya dont

Just Forget It

Forget that you're afraid

Forget that u r

Dont panic

Forget that u r alone

Everyone's Alone

Think about It

Its alright, I know tht it aint easy, But thats life

We're all in thr dark looking for the light
So dont ya worry....

Forget tht U cant Love
Forget tht U cant

Just forget it

Forget the reasons why

Forget the reasons
Can you do that
Forget that u r lost

Everyone gets lost in the Journey

Stop Take a look around you

Just stop maybe it'd be better'

If ya calm down

its alright...

This is ma lesson of life, i never explained anyone...took a lot of time ta put it in words...

And you wont look at the world the same anymore..

He is very talented. Not only in the poems he writes or in painting (where he really is a genius) but more in the art of friendship. He is and has been always a great friend, the kind everyone should have. The only thing i regret is that i still have not met him. And in the last couple of days i almost lost him, we have told lots of words to each other. I was more harsh than i usually am, but then i was hurt more than i usually am. And he refused talking to me which i accepted and we didnt talk to each other. Or rather he didnt talk and i tried to made him notice me. he kept on ignoring and it hurt more than anything else in the world. Imagine the broken heart because of someone who left you because they dont love you anymore. Now multiply it by 10 and you will get a broken heart of someone who is being ignored by the closest friend who (as they know) is feeling the same pain as you are. It is like having pain for both, you and the other person.

I have this ego problem. Thought if he does not want to talk i will not talk either. I have all the rights, dont i? But i just could not bear it anymore and tried my best to ignore my own pain and to concentrate on his. Forget my troubles and heal his own. After all he is one of the best person i have ever come across and he deserves better :) Not sure i succeeded. I tried my best though. Will try again because if not for friendship then to fight what for?

Once i have read somewhere "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say". He knows what i dont say and he does not need to say anything because i know what he does not say. But today i felt like saying all this. Maybe also because i know is banned in his office too and he will never get to read this :)

**UPDATE: Please dont tell me to break the silence, guys, it is all fine now :)

40 added colors:

*~*Sameera*~* Thursday, June 05, 2008  

Awww that was so sweet!And you know what,stop being such a Dumbi and make him read this post!!!

He is lucky to have you and you him.God Bless you friendship dear!

And yup,I'm thankful to him cause I found you through him,even if indirectly.

So go ahead and talk girl,trash the ego.It's just not worth it in this case!

TC sweetu.Love U loads.Hugsssss!

PS : Thanks for mentioning about the contest without me having even asked :)

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя Thursday, June 05, 2008  

wateva ppl so say abt orkut..i feel that it has given more than trure frnds more trhan once...
I can relate to u completely on this and all i want to say is..if u really cherish this relation..
Then dont wait for the question.pop it up urself..
i hope u get wat i mean..
take care of ya

ŋεεяѕ Thursday, June 05, 2008  

lena u shud just go ahead and break this silence!! u cannot be losing such a good frnd...ure right there is nothing thats worthy of fighting for except frndship. so just give it ur best...bcoz such ppl r rare to find.

all the best :)

humbl devil Thursday, June 05, 2008  

dont you lose him!!!

bury that ego for some time...heheh

Jessica Thursday, June 05, 2008  

Hi Lena,
I don't remember how I found your blogs...but I'm really enjoying reading them. It is so strange...I relate so much to much of what you write about.
About this, maybe you should break the silence. :/

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) Friday, June 06, 2008  

well have you met him or know him in person?

Life works in weird ways and it presents wonderful people in the oddest of locations. I am glad you were able to find such a person :-)

david mcmahon Friday, June 06, 2008  

G'day from Australia. Just dropped in to say Sameera nominated your post on my site.

Ankur Friday, June 06, 2008  

well i wud just say...
Miss ya here!!! :)

and left a small dedication for u at
If you can then check it out!!! :)


black coffee Friday, June 06, 2008  

that was really sweet! i read it atleast twice!

and lena people are even luckier than you.. cos they have you in the same kind of way!!

and i wonder what that silly way was, dorochka?(hoping i remember my russian)

that was a very sweet post.. all honeat ones are really good to read!

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

Sami dear, i talked i talked :)
love you too, dear :)

And no need to say thanks, dumbi, i just felt like mentioning about contest!

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

I like Orkut, Sourish, i keep it clean, dont add new people and care about the ones i have on my list. They all are the best and it will remain this way :)

thanks for your advice :)
you too take care!

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

Neers...they are really rare to find and i already talked to him, when it is about people i care for, i forget everything bad that had happened :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

@ humbl devil: sure! me not going to lose him :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

Hi Jessica! It is great to find out that people are reading me. Am glad you like my blog. and i believe many of us can relate to this stuff as we all have to deal with the same troubles in life..
as for advice, thanks a lot :) Thats exactly what i did :)
Have a great day!

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

No, Raaji, we have not met yet, but i believe one day we will :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

Thanks a lot, David, for dropping by :)
Its really a pleasure to be nominated on your blog :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

aww Ankur, thanks a lot :) thats so sweet. Not sure i am back to blogging, but will try to be here more frequently :)

Thanks for your dedication, unfortunately cant check it out. But i believe it is really very sweet of you :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

thanks a lot, Akki, dear :)
I guess we all are lucky to have found each other :)

And your russian is better than my hindi ;)

love you, girl :)

Ankur Friday, June 06, 2008  

I dont know what technical problem u both have... but i post it here!!!

Blogger name: Lena

• Blog Link :

• My message for her: She has impressed me a lot. She is intelligent, loving, caring and above all she sounds like a darling. She teaches me a lot with her posts n comments.

• Picture Msg: Click here

• Drink I'd offer her: Wine

• Place where I'd like to go for 1st date if any: Anywhere in Russia, its a dream visit for me too!!! :D

You are special... :)

Lena Friday, June 06, 2008  

like i said before it is very sweet of you, Ankur :)

and you are welcome in russia, anytime!

Anonymous,  Friday, June 06, 2008  

could have reposted my same comment in the other post.. :) i too hav found some beautiful ppl out here...some whom i'v never met..some whom i have met afr over a year. tehre are many genuine ppl out there...some special ppl...its by fate u met them, and destiny keeps u together :)

Noushy Syah Saturday, June 07, 2008  

This is so sweet!! I agree with most of the comments given...break the silence and you will not lose anything!! Genuine friendship is definitely worth to fight for..

Muahhss..take care my dear.
Have a lovely WE.

Myviews Saturday, June 07, 2008  

Hi Lena,
I'm really enjoying while reading your blog..I relate so much to much of what you write about. I can understand well about broken heart... Forgive and Forget!Now This is the thing Iam following...

lukkydivz Saturday, June 07, 2008  

and i am waiting for a post on me :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman Sunday, June 08, 2008  

Truly awesome and the pics are indeed adding beauty 2 the post...

Dont ever miss anything thts close 2 ur heart ;) Choose which1 is close...Ego or the person :)

Sophiagurl Sunday, June 08, 2008  

Hi Lena, you know I totally love your honesty and passion.

This fellow is lucky to have you as a friend. I salute you! Huggggggs.

rahman Monday, June 09, 2008  

Perhaps friendship is the purest of things.
So true that you could see right through, and yet not be shadowed by the obstacles scattered along our path in life.

Nice blog you have here :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

Thank you, preetha :)

*its by fate u met them, and destiny keeps u together

the longer i live the more i believe in this :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

Thank you, Noushy dear :)
It is all fine now :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

@ Myviews:
:) i guess we all have to deal with a broken heart many times, important is to forgive for the sake of ourselves, though sometimes it is so tough to let go :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

Divvi, sweetheart, i wrote one :x
About GRE, dont you remember? :O
though on the second thought, maybe i should write a series of posts about people i love ;)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

Thanks, Ponnarasi :)
I believe person is always closer :) :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

Thank you, Lisa, dear :)
i really dont know who is more lucky, him or me :)
I am just glad i have this friendship :)

Lena Monday, June 09, 2008  

@ rahman:
thanks for dropping by, was nice to see a new face here :)
Agree with everything you said .. friendship is really the purest of the things :) :)

Pavi!!!! Monday, June 09, 2008  

Awwww..that was such a sweeet story n so glad u guys made up! Cheers to bot of ur friendsip n may it last many more years.

i'm not sure if u'll buy it when i say i u'stand exactly how u feel. Have been in most of the situaution u messed. The endless talking, fightin, gettin angry wit each other, not talkin n realizing tht sum1 has b'com such an imp part of ur life..that s single day can't go by without the xchange of a "Howdy" ! Gosh!u take me back to some v.v.v.v memorable days that i cherish1

Shalini Gowrisankar Tuesday, June 10, 2008  

It great to know both of you have found such good friends in each other.. I suggest you break the silence. You don wanna loose this friendship..

Lena Tuesday, June 10, 2008  

Thank you, Pavi :)
And why you think i wont believe you feel the same way? Friendship might be different with different people and experiences but yet it is the same in the general emotions we get out of it, memories we cherish, fights we go through :)

Lena Tuesday, June 10, 2008  

thank you, Shalini :)
You are absolutely right, i would never want to lose this friendship !!

Vandita Wednesday, July 30, 2008  

cheers to ur beautiful frndship lena :)
read the update : am so glad alls well now :)
dunno when orkut is gonna help me in such matters :P

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