Are You Mature Enough?

Disclaimer 1: The post is long
Disclaimer 2: Some of you will not like it

As per Wikipedia’s definition maturity is a term used in psychology to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner.

Now don’t wonder that I started the post with this definition. Recently I have come across much stuff out there in Bloggerville which made me think if people really have any idea of how a mature grown-up person should respond to the circumstances.

We all can agree that blogs have become a part of our lives. The importance of this part is quite individual and results in your own activity out there among other bloggers. But for all of us blogging has given something that we now can not give up on.

Why do you blog? That’s the question you might have heard many times and now you sure know how to answer this. Some of us have great ideas they want to share with the world, some seek comfort and understanding, some take blogging as a platform for building up new relationships. For many people it is a way to write down their emotions and feelings. It is a medium to deal with stress and problems in life either on professional or a personal level. Sometimes both. Some just like to write and then we become the first readers of first-class short stories or wonderful poetry.

As you see the reasons are quite different but yet we have to agree that blogging is there to help. And it does its job well. On the other hand you have to realize that since it is an open community and your posts might be read by many you should be a little bit more careful, a little bit more honest and a little bit more tolerant about what you say. Because it might affect some people in a way you never would have expected. And when some people realize they might influence the others because of their being popular and visited and what not, they start manipulating people forming their opinions and judgments by telling the half-truths or lies.

That is what made me write this post. How often we come across someone in Bloggerville who claims to be the victim of the circumstances being hurt, insulted, abused by the other blogger. And we comment supporting your blogger friend without even knowing that he/she just manipulated you and your friendly feelings for getting some comfort and support which obviously even make him/her believe they are really a victim. Do you know if they are?? Only because they said so…

All this made me think about what a MATURE blogger should be. And made me remember few facts from my blogging experience which maybe would help us realize the possible answer to this question. All the facts are real, not made up, I have witnessed them all on my own and tried to be as unbiassed and MATURE as possible.

** You are on a friendly terms with one of the bloggers, chat regularly and exchange mails until once you have a huge fight and long-live-our-friendship has gone forever. What you do? Stop visiting their blog and commenting on posts. Or would you rather write a hatred posts on them every now and then and mention how much they ruined your happy blogging time?

** You don’t like one of bloggers but you come across his/her comments in other blogs all the time. Will you just comment on the post itself and leave or will you in your comment indirectly insult the person who commented first giving hints to other bloggers to point out who you are talking about?

** Blogger A wrote a comment on your post, then Blogger B posted a comment about why Blogger A being from another country comments on some local issues which they have no idea about. All this sounds in abusive tone. As the owner of the blog you let things as they are or would ask Blogger B to be more tolerant to other opinions, read be more MATURE.

** Someone took you off from their blogroll. You will just ignore the fact (well, everyone has the right to read your blog or not to read) or will you post anonymous insulting and abusive comments saying that this blogger is the worst one you ever came across?? Well, if they are so bad, why you read them in the first place?

** You have some argument with one of bloggers. Heated discussion and nothing more though it went deep into a personal level and some things were said that you didn’t like. Will you just forget about it and move on or put the other blogger into the black list and never again talk to them?

** Someone visits you but does not comment for some reasons. Happens to each and every one of us, does it not? Will you just keep on writing or put the ip-address of the person in your blog saying that they should get lost or at least comment?

** You receive less comments than you expected (by the way, do you write for comments only?) and then you go to other people’s blogs and ask them why they are not seen lately in your page and not commented on your posts. What a MATURE way of attracting visitors. Don’t you realize people might just be busy or maybe just DO NOT WANT to read your blog but now they have to as you practically force them.

** The other variant of it is “Did anyone tell you bad about me. Is it why you don’t visit me anymore?” Man, what kind of crap is it? If I want to read someone I will read them no matter what others tell me. I do have my own opinion, don’t you?

** You write a comment on someone’s post where comments moderation is enabled. Your comment isn’t published. You do what? Ignore it, ask why it happened so or write a post on this matter asking your readers to give opinions on the thing they know nothing about because it is something that is going on between you and this other blogger. Don’t you want to get that you are NOT welcome at that place, that your comments are UNWANTED. Why don’t you act as a mature person and leave people in peace after so much negative stuff you already brought into their lives.

** Telling everyone that some bloggers fight with you and you are sick of them but keeping writing about them and mentioning them in every second posts of yours – what a healthy and mature way of ending up a war you once have started.

I could continue the list but want to add something which is rather personal. Many of you know that once I had issues with one of bloggers. This person left anonymous abusive comments on my blog and commented on my comments in other blogs rather than commenting on the posts itself. I cant say now I acted mature but I wrote a post about all this giving out the name of the blogger. I will not hide the fact that after this I lost some of my readers but it is really ok, because I stand up for what I believe and what I said was the truth only. The story didn’t end up after that post. This blogger contacted 2 of my friends asking them to tell me to remove their name from the post. It was a very long discussion and conversation between this person and my friends and my friends and me. I refused doing so. This person practically begged my friends to convince me and I have the proofs for this and finally even deleted those comments which made me write the post. I gave up only because of my lovely and sweet friends and I removed the name. That’s why it was a puzzle for me why this blogger now claims we bargained removing the name for them removing those comments and deleting their post written about my friend. What a way of manipulating the half-truths..

We are all grown up people and prefer being called mature and wise. Then why don’t we start acting mature and wise and moving on to a new stage of our lives leaving all the bad stuff behind, stop judging others and manipulating people who have trust in us.

Because I know one truth for sure: People do not like being manipulated.
And now you open at least one truth to yourself: Are you mature enough?

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An Open Letter