Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Just A Click Away

People say the 21st century is a century of lonely people. It does not wonder anyone anymore because in the hectic world of today, trying to catch up with so many things makes us forget about the social nature of a human being.

We go to school striving for better marks to get a place in a better university. Once we are done we leave school and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go to college struggling with assignments and again striving for good marks and appreciation to get a place in a better company. Once we are done we leave college and most of people there behind. Different paths...

We go each and every day to office struggling hard for a better place here, making a career, having no sleep, no food, no social contacts except the ones in the work place. We say sorry to the few of our school friends who are still there because we can not find time for them. Or they say sorry because they can not find time for us.

We are so much behind in all kinds of social activity because we are busy all the time trying to find our place in life.

Going out with friends? Err... when was it?
Party? Only every once in a while.
Shopping? Even not every weekend.
List is really long and quite the same for everyone.

No wonder that the most often performed activity in a free time (when you get a free time) is sleeping. But only because we wouldnt be able to survive without it.

And in the 21st century a new meaning is given to new communication means, internet in the first place. It happens more and more often that many of us consider as best friends people they have never met. People that live in the different parts of your own country and sometimes even outside of it. People that are just a click away.

They are there for you always, they respond to your mails quickly, they give advice when needed, they give you hugs and kisses that seem to be more real that the ones you miss to get from people you used to call friends for many years of your life. Their biggest advantage is that they are THERE. And you share with them things that you cant share with anyone else, you talk your heart out, you cry with them, laugh with them, you have fun, you have fights. Just everything you used to do with that friend who lives next door to you but now so busy that can not find time to give a call.

They are friends. And nobody wonders when you say you have never met your best friend in person. Nobody judges when you say you love them more than people around you. Nobody is amazed that you devote such amount of "free" and "not so free" time to them. Because almost everyone has such a friend and knows how it feels.

But friendship is not the only thing we seek as human beings. We long for love and romance. But how is it possible when you leave home at 8 am and get back at 9 pm with the only thought - just to get rest. And it is not like there is a huge queue of fans waiting at your door and wanting to propose you. Lucky are those who meet their soulmates at college or in the office. What about the rest of us?
And people have found the answer. Internet with the large number of social communities and dating services with instant messaging and what not gives you an opportunity to get to know people. And the one who yesterday was your best friend online is now more than just a friend. You are confused, worried, dont understand how it might have happened and what exactly you feel. Is it love? Infactuation? Something that should replace your own loneliness? But it feels damn real, doesnt it? You try to resist the feeling because the same people who said it is ok to have a best friend you have never met, now continue the sentence with .... "but you cant be in love with him/her if you never have seen them in real". And you keep thinking they have a point in this.

Where is the difference for you? Friendship.... and ... love... Two relationships so different and yet so similar. You dont know what to do, what to say, how to explain. But you are very much sure that what you feel is real. Then why to listen to what are others saying? I mean thats what you feel and even if it is a mistake, it is your mistake. What I truly believe that nothing is a mistake when it is about your feelings. If you feel it is real, then it is real because nobody except you knows how you feel and what is going on. They can guess, they can suppose but they can not know!

Why are we so quick to judge? When our friend tells us he/she is in love with someone they have never met why is our first reaction so negative? It scares them off, they are already confused about what they feel and now we add more to this. There are 6 billion people on this planet and why are you so sure that the one your friend fell for is not the right for him/her? Sometimes people wait for the perfect soulmate for the whole life and dont meet them. But here is your friend who might have got a chance and they are about to miss it because you dont believe in such things happen.
Thats all so much complicated and then it is very easy. Human feelings are difficult to be grasped, impossible to be explained. But if you feel thats the right thing to do, if you feel this warmth, this love, care.... why dont go for it? Maybe there wont be another chance? Or maybe this chance is exactly what you need for now :)

Because when so many are lonely it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.

And that was another Tuesday Love Ramblings
PS: Inspiration to this post: my friend got to know his gf through internet. he is from Canada, she is from Brazil. After long months of communication through net he (despite all his friends and his family warning him it is not love and not real) moved out to Brazil. They got married and now are happy in love :)

18 added colors:

--xh-- Tuesday, February 19, 2008  

hm.. intresting. u know lena, when i read this, i think only a part of mine live in 21st century. i went to school and made friedns, and got lessosn about life. marks where my last priority, and though i work 12+ hours every day, i still get tiem to meet my real friends and go out with them and enjoy friendly evenings.
but then about the online friendships, i am in 21st century as anybody next to me is. i have lot of friends here whom i have never met, and i know many people who have sucessfull LDRs - including my own brother.
well,may be we need to take time to go out and socialise - i know it is kind of not easy, but sometimes, we need to go out of our way to get things. me now kind of look forward to read ur ramblings :)

Vandita Tuesday, February 19, 2008  

u did it again...u might have been inspired by ur frnd in Brazil but lemme tell u, i was readin my life...atleast some truths there.
totally identify with it.

*~*Sameera*~* Tuesday, February 19, 2008  

Excellent post sweetu! :)

I miss those outings and meeting up with my real friends after moving here but still I know they are always there.

As for internet friends,I have met some darlings here who have become my REAL friends and one of them is the Dumbi who's blog I am posting this comment on!Lol

As usual,you have voiced the feelings which many of us experience and come up with insightful words which truly are uplifting!

Good to know about your friend sweetie.LDRs flourish when there is good understanding and loads of trust and space.It's high time people come out of the traditional thinking and broaden their perspective!

Keep the TLRs coming darling!Love ya.Hugsss

Arti Honrao Tuesday, February 19, 2008  

First -
God Bless your friend and his love.

Second -
This is a very sensitive, sweet, interesting, thought-provoking kind of post.
You have so well expressed the feelings n doubts of so many out there!



anonme Wednesday, February 20, 2008  

beautiful post darling.. :)
that was so nice..
i am so happy for that friend of yours..
such incidents make me believe in a life after love.. makes me believe that everything is alright!

thanks! :)

Vasanthan Wednesday, February 20, 2008  

i am happy for your friend who believed in true love, good for her. i like this post, although long it was meaningful from the beginning till the end.

i think the people who are skeptical about meeting life partners are the ones who haven been truthful in their online conversations because they do not feel safe expressing themselves in the online world.

Preetilata【ツ】 Wednesday, February 20, 2008  

oh! janu! u hv left me with no option other than agreeing with u. the post is so true...n i think anybody can relate to it. yes love n friendship are in the account of hearts so it doesnt matter wether we hv seen that person or not....thnk god that internet gvs us real love n friendships else wat wud hv happen to all of us janu wen in real world we seldom get time for each other? m gald this internet world has gvn me gems, stars and dumbis he he :D .. n i gt them just coz of internet. soulmates can meet through any medium be it real or virtual n d medium doesn't actually matters

n m really happy for ur friens janu. may god bless them with every happiness in life.

take care nerdy ...lolz...huggss...muaaaaaahhh.. :) :) :)

Keshi Thursday, February 21, 2008  

I agree...u dun hv to meet each other to fall in love. we r all so rigid abt LOVE that we fail to believe when it happens in ways that r not expected.

This is such a GREAT post!


zahid Sunday, February 24, 2008  

Ah....These tuesdya ramblings....I love em...And everytime i read i want to write more on love !!! Lenu janu !!! :)

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

you are one person to be an example for many, finding time for friends after a long working day!! :)

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

well Vands, thats kind of my life now, so seems like we are going through a similar phase :)

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

Sweetu has been sweet as always!! :)
Where did you find Dumbi here? :P

love youuuuuuuu!

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

Thank you, Arti. Appreciation from you is such a great honour :)

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

And everything IS alright, akki!! As long as we believe!

Love and hugs, sweets!

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

first, Vasanthan, my friend is not she, it is he :D

"i think the people who are skeptical about meeting life partners are the ones who haven been truthful in their online conversations because they do not feel safe expressing themselves in the online world." - well sad! and it is the truth i guess, but then their loss, right? ;)

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

"soulmates can meet through any medium be it real or virtual n d medium doesn't actually matters" - you said it all, preeti dear!!

love you, my dumbi!

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

Thank you, keshi!
you are so right, but again, is always our fault when we are skeptical about things we are afraid of.

Lena Thursday, March 06, 2008  

Oh, zahid, you are a real sweetheart! :D
Write more on love, maybe i'll make you my blogger guest for TLR ;)

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