Peace of Mind

Just thought of a short update. First of all, i am feeling better than ever. life is going good, very hectic with busy schedule, but still good and i am lucky to get positive emotions every day. Last one lasts even for couple of days now and i know i am late to write about it but who the hell cares. On Sunday after 15 years Russia again won Ice Hockey World Championship. In the final game in Canadian Quebeck playing against Canada these guys have done the IMPOSSIBLE and won gold medals. :) The celebrations here are going till today and it really brings a very good feeling to see all the adult and (in other days) serious people being like little kids and feeling proud for their own country after so many years.

Somehow I catch myself at the thought that i am smiling more these days, not sure what might be the reason but then again it feels very good. Just to be back to myself after couple of months of frustration. Might even be back to Tuesday Love Ramblings next week.

If someone still keeps visiting, you might have noticed i changed the name of the blog. It is now PEACE of MIND. Dont ask me why... i just felt like that. Needed a change. And i believe thats for the best. Hence the change in design. I know it is not looking the same in all browsers, am working on it.

My system at home crashed, might be some virus, though my antivirus didnt find any *sigh* Will take me up to few days to fix everything up, so no internet connection at home and i cant do much bloghopping from office, so i was irregular with blogs, now will be even less regular. Just bear with me, please :)

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Here We Go: Tags. Part 1

I have been tagged by Pri like ages ago but she is a very patient girl :D Though I decided not to take her patience for granted and finally complete the long pending tags :)

Here is the first one.
30 questions!! (umm... who the hell invented this one?)

1)LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
Umm…. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and then I realized I have not been in theater since last year, have a lot to catch up with ….

2)WHAT BOOK ARE U READING??
Me is rather writing than reading, the only thing I am reading these days are blogs, and even then I am not regular …

3)FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Nobody plays with me, I always win **sigh**

4)FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Since so many people mentioned 'readers digest' in the ir tags I believe we can call it a magazine!!

5)FAVOURITE SMELLS?

• coffee… weird, I don’t like drinking coffee but love this smell
• rains… it is a special smell, nothing can be ever compared…
• L'Eau par Kenzo … my favourite for years!! J
• maybe some more… just i need to think about it and my thinking capability is damaged these days

6)FAVOURITE SOUNDS?

raindrops on the window when I am staying home
my little niece’s laugh
anything that is melodic unless it annoys me

7)WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

when you give everything to the person and realize they do not feel like giving anything in return
when you miss people who are far away
when you know that no matter how hard you try it still wont be enough
when someone you love is not happy

8)WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?

not again!!

9)FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?

no fast food, sorry

10)FUTURE CHILDS NAME?

umm…. Sophia…. For a girl, because i will have a girl only… My little niece is angry with me for that because she wanted her little sister to have this name, now she wants her own daughter to be names Sophia.. Somehow I feel I will be the first :D

11)FINISH THIS STATEMENT---'IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D'

...ummm…. so many things to do…. I would buy a big house for my parents, so that they would not have to control my daily use of internet :D

And i would travel around the world for sure

12)DO U DRIVE FAST?
Me and driving?? Err… you better don’t let me anywhere near the car if you want to stay alive :D

13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Hell! Who invented this tag???

14)STORMS--COOL OR SCARY?
depends on who is there with me ;)

but in general i love them

15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
read answer #12…. Nobody lets me close to any car!!

16)FAVOURITE DRINK?
milkshake, peach juice, tea (only black and only without sugar)

17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...
go to Moscow to visit my best friend J

18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
how does it matter??

19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I love the way it is now, have experimented enough already J

20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
Umm…. Depends on what you call as “have lived in” :D

But if I have to count then Nizhny Novgorod, Moscow, Essen.
As well as stayed for a while in Paris and London…. Wish I could call it living there :D

21)FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
football!! Meaning not American of course!!

22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

Pri … she is a good writer, a mature person unlike me and i love reading her blogs… though even less and less these days

23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
now i got scared… what do you expect to be there?? Is it some secret mission of finding out where i hide the bodies of people i don’t like?

24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN??

yaa… me is a good person :D
but i would love it to be somewhere else… just not to repeat the experience completely…

25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?

Night owl…. Any doubts?

26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?

blame it on my insomnia or me being dumb but i don’t get the question hence no answer :D

27)FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?

Since I never relax I don’t have such a place!

28)FAVOURITE PIE?

umm… I love them all :D

29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?

Chocolate, peach, vanilla, cherry, strawberry… ummm….. yummyyyyyyyyyy

30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

Hereby I declare I was officially the last who has done this tag as it took me one month to complete this one and everyone else is already done!!

*UPDATE* i found out, i am not the only one left but still i will tag the only one, Mannu, because he asked (well not really asked but i decided it was like he asked :D )

One more of Pri is about what is there in my hand bag. I want to disappoint you, guys, nothing really interesting :D

my cell phone

cell phone's charger

home keys

office keys

purse

lipstick

Elisabeth Arden Green Tea Scent Spray

and thats practically all :D

Am planning to make this month - the month of the tags, so that i will finally complete all the tags pending since the beginning of this month :)

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In Remembrance...

When I was a small kid I liked watching those parades on May, 9th. Some days on TV and some days we would put on our best clothes and go to the central square to enjoy it live.

I remember lots of old people wearing military uniform with ordens and medals.
I remember expression on their faces when they met an old friend whom they had not seen for years.
I remember their tears when they talked about the ones who didnt make it to this Victory Day.

I used to ask my mom what is so special about this day. And she always replied it was a day to give our thanks to people who had fought for the defence of our country. A day on which we should learn how to be grateful for our lives.

When i was in school our history teacher revealed the fact that over 20 million Soviet people were killed during that war. When you are 11-12 years old you do not really realise how shocking big this number is. You just learn it as the fact which might be asked in another exam.

But we knew that we won that war, and we knew that our grandfathers and grandmothers were there to protect their children, our moms and dads. We knew that if not for them we would not have gotten this chance to live. We knew how to be grateful.

The latest russian history textbooks say that USA won the World War 2. Maybe they consider the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki as the final point of it, just like a proof who is the most powerful one. In some ex-Soviet Republics, todays independent countries they remove monuments and memorials dedicated to those soldiers who once saved their cities from Nazi's occupation. Soviet military forces are declared occupants and ex-Nazis get these ordens and medals and graditude which belongs to those fighting for their own and their kids' life and independence.

Today the world has changed. Not for better.
Today we fail to see what is good and what is bad.
Today we take too many things for granted.
Today we do not know anymore what it means to be grateful.

Today we are re-writing the HISTORY.

I don't care what crap these pro-american text-books say.
I don't care that some countries' leaders are too blind to realise what is goodness and what is evil.
I don't care for those who declare us occupants and murderers.

People can talk as much as they want to about damn communism and totalitarism, repressions and tortures. There indeed had been a lot of good and bad in the history but none of this will ever change the fact that our grandfathers and grandmothers were ready to die for our confident future. That they have protected my country and half of Europe at the cost of their lives. If not for them there would not be any Russia, any Europe and maybe even any US for that matter.

In Russia almost every family has at least one person who took part in that war. And the number of those who survived is getting less every year. Most of them are over 80 by now. And the less this number is the more should our gratitude be.

And when i see 80% of cars in my home city having these special St. George Ribbons as the sign of our remembrance and commemoration, it feels good to know that people care, people remember, people are grateful.

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Every Other Day of My Life

7am. I wake up, take a shower, have my breakfast, leave for the office. It is 7:50 am. I know I will be stuck in traffic and late for work again. Some 4-5 km far my office building my patience comes to a limit and I leave the bus and continue my way walking. it is 9 am. And i am already late but who cares. Well, my boss does. But I guess I will be forgiven again.

I am in the office, 9.20, mails, calls, annoyance, angry people, happy people, upset people, people that fight, people that cry, people that have no understanding. Gtalk says DND, as if anyone bothers. I change it to "Please only when really necessary. I am VERY BUSY". Seems people do not read status messages. Nevermind.

Lunch break, 1pm. Not hungry yet but making myself eat something just to survive through the day.

Working again. Reading something. Other mails, Other calls. Tired, sleepy, angry. Do not notice how it is already 6pm and office is over for today.

6.30pm. Tutoring. English grammar. Gerund. Participles, Tenses. Translations. Tired again. Looking at the clock. 10 more minutes till the end of the lesson. Talking about life, correcting mistakes, having fun.

7.30 pm. Leaving for home finally. Just popping into a supermarket to buy some fruits.

8.00 pm. Bus station, lots of busses come by, but not mine. Waiting for another 20 mins, then decide to walk. So what if it is some 15 km to my house? I can do it. At that moment the bus comes. Another 20 mins (no traffic jams) and i am almost home. Feeling tired but good.

9.00 pm. Home sweet home. Alex is asking if i got something for her. Fruits do not go, so I have to promise to buy a toy for her some other day. She feels happy. It is time for her to sleep. I kiss her good night and go to have my dinner. Trying to talk to mom meanwhile but too tired to bring out any sensible thoughts, she does not mind. She is tired, too.

9.20 pm. I get online. Start writing. Gtalk is clear. It says "DND>>WRITING". People do not care, I do not mind. These are people I love. No matter how tough the day has been, talking to them makes my day. Tired, sleepy, stressed but still staying on to write mails, to read blogs, to write my stories, to chat with people who care about me.

Midnight. Going to sleep. Fall asleep right after my head touches a pillow. You can call it baby sleep. Next time i open my eyes it is 7 am and I think "God, why are you doing this to me? I so do not want to start it over again." But I do. And the day starts new.

Every other day of my life.

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