Totally Pissed Off

Disclaimer: Might be long, don't know yet, will try to reduce while writing :D

I never write personal stuff here, so whatever you have read before on this blog is all fiction. But today just felt like writing it down because thats something that totally pissed me off yesterday.

Office. 9.30 am.

I am trying hard to work, fighting my sleep which is trying to overcome me. Successful till now. Working on exhibitions catalogue. Most of russian exhibition companies are the members of our Union and they have to submit information about their exhibitions to our website. Then the info is published. Well.. not exactly then, there are various stages before that, but the end result is that the book is published.

Till some years ago they submitted the info, it was published, after couple of months they started arguing why we had published it this way or the other. All the explanations that it was submitted by them this way just didnt work. Then my smart boss suggested the idea - they should take print outs from the web site, sign them, stamp them and fax to us. In this case if they ever get any problems with us we have a proof they agreed to it. Smart, huh?

But before we work on making up the catalogue, we have to compare what they faxed to us to what they submitted to the site, because some of them tend to change info after they already signed the papers. **They are smart too**

So yesterday at 9.30 am I was doing exactly this, comparing the data submitted and the data faxed. In the middle of the process I see that one company has some big differences there. Here i must add that when they submit data to the site they dont update automatically, only I can do it manually after logging in with my password. And those who have read the instruction i had mailed them would know this. But unfortunately the guy from the company in question seemed to have some reluctance regarding all types of instruction. So he changed the info on the site, got it signed up by his boss and faxed to us. Unfortunately he didnt see that what he sent and what he submitted is different. **I remind you - the guy has problems with instructions**

10.00 am. i am calling the guy (he is in Moscow)

Call #1

Me: Hello, Mr.X. You know you seem to have sent us wrong papers.
He: I dont think so.
Me: I am sorry but i am sure you sent us the wrong papers, there are exhibitions there in the list which are deleted from the site. i cant publish it this way.
He: Ok, whats the solution?
Me: You take new print outs and fax them to us (of course signed)
He: Out of question.
Me: **HUH??** And why is that? **understanding that he is scared to go to the boss again and admit his mistake**
He: I am busy now.
Me: Dont tell me you are busy. You dont have to handle 1500 exhibitions like i do. I believe you can find few mins to take printouts and get them signed.
He: Can i only send the sheets where you have wrong info from us.
Me: **if i cant have anything better... grrrrrrrrrrrrr** Sure, but i need them by the end of the day.
He: can you mail me the numbers of sheets?
Me: **HUH?? I can tell you them right now** OK, i will.

Call ended.

I am mailing him the numbers, explaining exactly what i need from him. He calls right back.

11.30 am

Call #2.

He: You know i found some mistakes in the info i submitted to the web site, can i change them.
Me: I am sorry, sir, but you dont have the access to the editing anymore **Thanks God!**
He: What should i do then? I need to change the name of the manager in few events.
Me: No problem, you just write them down on that printout and i will edit myself **Grrrrrrrrr, how dumb you are, couldnt do it right from the first time**
He: Ok, thanks, i will.

Call ended.

12.30 pm

I am getting the fax. On the events where the name should have been changed instead of giving me new name and new contacts he writes "ANOTHER MANAGER"
Me: **DFGRGJEPJGADFIGP!!!**
Mailing him, asking to give the NAME, PHONE NUMBER and E-MAIL.

14.00pm
He calls back.

Call#3 (My favourite)

He: Hello again.
Me: Hi.
He: I did write ANOTHER MANAGER there.
Me: I know.
He: I will tell you the name now and you will put it there.
Me: Oh.. really? I cant do it.
He: Why?
Me: I need the signed papers.
He: But i am telling you the name.
Me: I cant take it, i need sighed papers.
He: And why is that.
Me: Because in 2 months you will call and ask why i put this name and i wont be able to give any proof you gave it to me on phone.
He: But you do understand i am giving you the correct name.
Me: If the papers are not signed I am not supposed to understand anything.
He: I will not send you anything. Thats crap.
Me: Thats agreement between my boss and your boss, not up to you to decide.
He: Can i talk with Mrs. S.? (my boss)
Me: **HUH?? What else you want?** Sorry it is not possible, please write the name down on the print outs, sign them up and fax to me.
He: You understand we are wasting time now.
Me: I understand you are wasting my time.
He: Can I talk to Mrs. S?
Me:**So that you will waste her time too??** No, I am sorry, she doesnt keep herself busy with such small issues.
He: So you do agree it is a small issue.
Me: I only agree it is an issue that should be solved, can you please send me the signed copy?
He: Can i talk with Mrs. S?
Me: **not again!!** Sorry, you cant. But you can talk with Mr. L. (his boss), after Mrs. S talks to Mr. L.
He: I dont think it is necessary.
Me: Then send me the fax.
He: I want to talk with Mrs. S.? **Grrrrrrrrr** I can convince her you are telling crap?
Me: **still very polite** Sorry Mr. X., but you cant talk with her because it wont change anything.
He: You should understand i have a very big event now to handle and will be busy for another 4 days.
Me: Ok, not a problem, send it to me after 4 days, i am patient enough.
He: You dont understand i will not send you anything.
Me:**is he dumb or just pretending to be?** You will else your boss will be informed about you having submitted incorrect info...

**********
here a small Russian lesson: like in english negative form is formed by adding prefix un- (noticed - unnoticed), in russian is used prefix ne-. Thing is that some words have these pairs like pravilno - nepravilno **right-wrong**) and some dont. For example there is a word nebrezhno which means incorrect, unaccurate, but the word brezhno does not exist, so as antonym to the first word the other means are being used
*********
here we go again

Me: Mr. L. will be informed that you made your work very nebrezhno.
He: I did it very much brezhno.
Me:**HUH?** Once you will learn some common rules of russian grammar and vocabulary, we will talk about the way you did your work, for now i need the signed copy of the print outs.
He: Can i talk to Mrs. S.??
Me:**Helpless, tired, annoyed** Sorry, you cannot but Mrs. S. sure can talk with Mr. L.
He: I will do everything possible not to send you these info.
Me: Give it a try.

He hung up. Hence call ended.
14.40 pm.
My office colleagues asking me who was the "lucky" guy i was talking to.
After hearing the name everyone sighed understandingly.. everyone had to deal with him in the past already.

PS: Mrs. S. called Mr. L., after that another guy called back, and asked very politely what he should do and promised to send the fax by today... Waiting...

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In Remembrance...

When I was a small kid I liked watching those parades on May, 9th. Some days on TV and some days we would put on our best clothes and go to the central square to enjoy it live.

I remember lots of old people wearing military uniform with ordens and medals.
I remember expression on their faces when they met an old friend whom they had not seen for years.
I remember their tears when they talked about the ones who didnt make it to this Victory Day.

I used to ask my mom what is so special about this day. And she always replied it was a day to give our thanks to people who had fought for the defence of our country. A day on which we should learn how to be grateful for our lives.

When i was in school our history teacher revealed the fact that over 20 million Soviet people were killed during that war. When you are 11-12 years old you do not really realise how shocking big this number is. You just learn it as the fact which might be asked in another exam.

But we knew that we won that war, and we knew that our grandfathers and grandmothers were there to protect their children, our moms and dads. We knew that if not for them we would not have gotten this chance to live. We knew how to be grateful.

The latest russian history textbooks say that USA won the World War 2. Maybe they consider the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki as the final point of it, just like a proof who is the most powerful one. In some ex-Soviet Republics, todays independent countries they remove monuments and memorials dedicated to those soldiers who once saved their cities from Nazi's occupation. Soviet military forces are declared occupants and ex-Nazis get these ordens and medals and graditude which belongs to those fighting for their own and their kids' life and independence.

Today the world has changed. Not for better.
Today we fail to see what is good and what is bad.
Today we take too many things for granted.
Today we do not know anymore what it means to be grateful.

Today we are re-writing the HISTORY.

I don't care what crap these pro-american text-books say.
I don't care that some countries' leaders are too blind to realise what is goodness and what is evil.
I don't care for those who declare us occupants and murderers.

People can talk as much as they want to about damn communism and totalitarism, repressions and tortures. There indeed had been a lot of good and bad in the history but none of this will ever change the fact that our grandfathers and grandmothers were ready to die for our confident future. That they have protected my country and half of Europe at the cost of their lives. If not for them there would not be any Russia, any Europe and maybe even any US for that matter.

In Russia almost every family has at least one person who took part in that war. And the number of those who survived is getting less every year. Most of them are over 80 by now. And the less this number is the more should our gratitude be.

And when i see 80% of cars in my home city having these special St. George Ribbons as the sign of our remembrance and commemoration, it feels good to know that people care, people remember, people are grateful.

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There are More Reasons for Giving or Pay It Forward

When you give, eventually you receive. We all know this truth. But do we follow? And do we Give without any second thought? Without expectations to receive something in return? What about an act of kindness just because of no reasons, not looking for any profit but just to make people feel good, just to make the world a little bit more beautiful place.
Showing CARE, LOVE, CONCERN when you really mean them.
When you really feel, when you really know it is for good.

WE always complain - We CAN NOT change the world for better. Who are we here? Small people living their lives and complaining how much cruel, unfair and sad everything around is? That's shallow-minded. By talking things over and complaining nothing can be and nothing will be changed, by accepting the fact that changing the life in the world for better is not in our hands we just give up. Talking is always easy, action is always difficult.
But since when we choose going for easy things??
We are human beings, we should be proud of things we do and not hide behind words. Words are good, but they are even better when they are set into action. A simple ACT of KINDNESS will not change the big World but it will change the small world of one person, one individual, one person just like YOU. Making it better, making it lovely, making it beautiful. And the ACTS of KINDNESS can be multiplied by your active participation in the PIF-Concept.



PIF or Pay It Forward is something i got to know about from Sameera's blog (read it here). And something that made me think and believe it is something we all might need. Especially in this world of globalization, when all the human values keep losing their importance. When we stopped writing long letters and send postcard because there is e-mail service and free e-cards. When we dont call but prefer sms. When we dont talk but chat. When life stops having human touch....

Here I am proud to present this Concept of PIF, which is spreading throughout the world giving care, love, support, understanding.

"I promise to send a small handmade gift to the first three people who reply to this post on my blog, specifying that they accept the PIF challenge. I do not know what the gift will be as of now, but it will be something personalized and I promise to have it delivered to them within one year from today, no matter what. Of course, as the name indicates, the condition is that all three of them must in turn pay it forward the same way, by putting up a post linking to this one on their blog and promising to send three others a handmade gift."

Here I am not asking you to take but asking you to give and reminding you that there are more reasons for giving than just to be thanked. :)




And even if you are not playing with us, you are still free to add comments!! :)

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Good or bad

I was going to write this entry for the last month or so but never managed to find time. Not that i got it now but just wanted finally to close this topic and write down whatever comes to my mind.

People.. Who are we? What are we? Are we all different or are we the same? Are we good or are we bad? If good - then who said so, and if bad - then again who said so? Who is there to judge? Are their any criteria?

Like we all I have come across many people in my life, good or bad, most have gone, few stayed. Why? Were they better than the rest? What makes them different? What makes me feel they ARE different? How do I know they are good? (they really are) How do I know they are not bad? (they are not!)

Browsing in Orkut through people's profiles I wondered how good they all are. They have nice friends, they have great testimonials saying how much sweet, lovable, adorable, caring and and and... they are. It means they are good. For these people. Not for others .. but it means they have something good with them which made others catch it and got such a great opinion about them. But if they are so good to them, why they are not so good or even worse than that, why they seem to be bad to others?

Confusing thought, huh?! Everyone is good in the beginning. Good for their families,
their loved ones, their friends.

But less good for someone else... How do I decide who is good enough for me? How can I dare to call someone bad if he/she is not, when he/she is so sweet and lovable and caring.

We are not different, thats true... we all are the same with the same dreams, desires, wishes. We want in the end one and the same thing from life. And we all are good! But somehow fail to see this good in each other. Too much busy with themselves, too much stressed up, too much blind, just too much...

I know it is all about values, we appreciate different things, we have different likings, we have differend levels of understanding. Sometimes it just clicks and then you feel you know this person for ages, even if ages are 2 weeks only! And not all will and can be your friends but it is not because people are bad (who are we to judge it?) it is just because we are different in our non-difference.

And even people who betrayed us or who were mean are good..... but good for someone else.
Which does not mean "not good enough" for us. I have been thinking about it for a while and really wondered about this confusing thought: "Everyone is good yet everyone is bad".

Depends on people who see you as you are / or as they think you are. So you are not what you are, you are what people think you are. I know that is kind of a silly and you can say that everyone knows who he/she is and there is no need of people's opinions about who you are.

But then do you know anyone who would say he/she is a bad person? I don't!..
We all are different yet the same...
We all are good yet bad.... To someone or to ourselves...

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It is not Monday!!

Everything is still the same - i wonder if i ever will have my life back. I want so much on coming home not doing office stugg but doing things for myself: watching movies, playing with Alexandra, reading, writing, sleeping at last.. Just things for myself and not this office work which seems to have no end. How much stressful is it few days before deadline. It seems like nothing has been done and there is still so much to do and so little time. And you are here alone struggling with time, trying to stay alive after exhausting day and half that much exhausting night. Seems i dont remember what it means to sleep :D
Today i got an encouraging e-mail and wondered how much words of loving and caring people can help us. Whenever throughout the day I felt like i can not do it anymore I opened that mail, read it again and went on. Tha is the POWER of word, not just a word but THE WORD said with care and support..
Got some good news .... and i know it is so much silly but it made me really happy in a way i can not describe.. Last 10 days I am only thinking about deadline which is November, 15. And the last few days I was sure the 15th is next Monday. Not that i can not count.. I knew pretty well that today is the 7th and that it is Tuesday (is it??) and that there are 8 days to go... But then believe it or not, 15th in my calendar fell on Monday, and it upset me so much because Monday is so close... And then today i made a discovery: IT IS NOT MONDAY!! IT IS THURSDAY!!!

OMG... how little a person needs for happiness :)

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